The Thunder Within
by SaveOurSouls
Summary: [LJ 7th year] The wizarding world is a storm of lies, death & betrayal entwined with love. Struggling to do the right thing, they must learn the true value of what they're fighting for or else be lost in the thunder within.
1. Prologue: Everyone's Fear

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Anything you do not recognise from the either the films or the books, belongs to the author of this FANFICTION.

**Summary:** [L/J 7th year] The wizarding world is a storm of lies, death & betrayal entwined with love. Struggling to do the right thing, they must learn the true value of what they're fighting for or else be lost in the thunder within ****

**Genre:** Angst/Romance

**Rating:** PG-13

**The Thunder Within**

By SaveOurSouls

**Prologue:** 'Everyone's Fear'****

'Everyone's fear' expressed by Sirius Black, GoF; Padfoot Returns, page 459.

Bitter tears fell from her eyes, rolling down her paper white cheeks, the dark rings circling her eyes becoming more pronounced. She was alone in the world, alone in the cold dormitory, alone in every possible way. She had no one left, no one that loved her like her parents had. Her blood shot emerald eyes looked towards the grey heavens that were promising rain in large quantities. They kept their promise, for rain it did. It lashed at the castle, pounding at the windows in a depressing rhythm. She laughed gallingly, for that depressing rhythm seemed to be made exactly for her mood. She never knew she could feel so much remorse, so much pain at once. Now she knew. She felt it tearing at her heart, ripping it apart with no mercy. It was eating away at her very soul.

It was barley a month into the new school year at Hogwarts. Her very last year. She was Head Girl, a role model student and a person who was looked up to by the student body. Yet, she didn't fit in and she knew it. From the moment she had entered Hogwarts, she was aware of the ever-growing threat of Lord Voldemort, the Dark Lord causing chaos and destruction through out their world. She simply didn't feel that she would be able to live up to the role of Head Girl with everything else that had happened recently. ****

Over recent years it had got violently worse for everyone. Not only was he targeting Muggle-borns and their families, he had now added to the targeting list, anyone he thought would get in his way of taking over the wizarding world, including prominent pure-blood families who had refused, quite blatantly, to join him in cause. Of course, he did have his supporters, quite a fair few of them at that. The majority came from Slytherin. They were the people who were born for the purpose of carrying on a pure-blood lineage. People who thought Muggle-borns should be tortured mercilessly and subsequently killed on the spot for ever thinking that they belong in their world. She was a Muggle-born. Her parents had no magic flowing through their veins. But she did. However, she didn't fit in to either world. In reality she was far from what ordinary people would have called 'normal', yet also far from 'normal' by wizarding standards. ****

She had attended the local Primary school in the village as a child. If the truth was told, she would quite happily erase every memory she had from that- that _place_. She had been the outcast, the odd ball, the freak. Intelligence wise, she was by far cleverer then any of the other children. They had not liked that one bit, punishing her with tantalising songs and crude humorous jokes about her rather unique, appearance. The only friend she did make was with Winnie DeWitt. She was rather peculiar, with huge glasses, a large mass of uncontrollable frizzy hair and an unusual fetish for plastic jewellery found free in magazines. Unfortunately, for Lily, she was rather sickly and never attended school very much. ****

Voldemort, over the past six years, had been steadily gaining power. People were now afraid to say his name, flinching when they heard it being uttered. Though it wasn't as if that happened very often at all, for such bravery was scarce. When they wanted to refer to him they would use He Who Must Not Be Named or You-Know-Who and even then they preferred to whisper it under their breath, lowering their voices to the bare minimum. People were scared of travelling, going to work, to home, just in case the Dark Mark was floating above the building, throwing the area into a sickly green light and announcing to the wizarding public that 'You-Know-Who' had struck again. Even the Muggles were noticing the strange happenings, which was highly unusual as they never noticed anything.

'The Muggle Massacres' as they had been dubbed by the Daily Prophet, were the most violent of all attacks. The victims were mangled and tortured before they were finally killed, limbs severed off so they couldn't escape. It made ordinary people feel sick to the stomach. The Muggle government covered them up as best they could, telling ludicrous tales of escaped brutes from the local zoo to a small gas explosion. None of it was true. It was really as far from the truth as you could get.

As she sat, curled up into a tight ball, she wept silently. Dumbledore gave students plenty of time to grieve. And she knew that these types of deaths had been happening at an increasingly frequent rate, but she had never thought it would happen to _her_. Was that an insane thought? There were equal chances of death to anyone. Well, Slytherins had a smaller chance, yes. And maybe some pure-bloods. But Muggle-borns like her, with their 'tainted' blood… ****

This was what it all came down to. Her blood. It was all her fault that they were dead, that they had departed from the world in a flash of curses and a swish of a wand. Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters had murdered her parents. They were innocent people, victims, who only added to the number of murders by the hands of You-Know-Who and his Death Eaters. It seemed to double everyday. The difference was that this time those victims were her parents. ****

Lily wondered what they had covered her parents murders up with, each as laughable as the next. Being Muggle-born she knew her parents had had doubts about so many people dying around the country. She hadn't the heart to tell them what was really happening; they would have taken her out of Hogwarts before she could have had her say. She knew that was a selfish thought but she loved it in the Wizarding world. Or she thought she had. However, times were changing, and with recent events coming to light… how could she love such a place? ****

She felt sick to her stomach, a burning sensation choking her very thoughts, clogging her mind to an unbearable level. She didn't know quite what to do with herself, it felt like her whole world was crashing around her; things were never going to be the same again. And no matter what other people might say, it was her fault, at least partly. ****

---

Please review!

xxoo anniePADFOOT & FallenFlower


	2. I: They Were Gone

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Anything you do not recognise from the either the films or the books, belongs to the author of this FANFICTION.

**Summary:** [L/J 7th year] The wizarding world is a storm of lies, death & betrayal entwined with love. Struggling to do the right thing, they must learn the true value of what they're fighting for or else be lost in the thunder within ****

**Genre:** Angst/Romance

**Rating:** PG-13

**The Thunder Within **

**By **SaveOurSouls

**Chapter 1:** 'They Were Gone'

'They were gone' expressed in PoA; Hermione's Secret, page 303

James Potter watched from afar, his heart sinking as he saw her read the presaging letter. She left the Great Hall saying nothing but still leaving the inhabitants of the Great Hall in semi-shock. Well, most of them. There were a few that smirked at each other knowingly. They all knew what that meant. Her family was dead. James looked up at Dumbledore, who had bowed his head slightly as a sign of respect for her loss. Professor McGonagall looked at Lily's retreating figure with a kind of sadness he had never seen his Head of Household before, or knew she could hold for that matter. She leaned over towards Dumbledore talking hurriedly; the headmaster himself shook his head slowly.

It wasn't long before her friends got up slowly and exited the hall. They would need to comfort her. Something he wished he could do. However, Lily Evans hated him. She had hated him since she had first laid eyes on him and he doubted that would ever change. What had started out as an infatuation for him had turned in to an obsession before, eventually, it turned in to something that was deeper than anything he had ever felt before, something he couldn't quite explain.

---

Lily finally fell asleep, curled up on her bed and clutching her pillow. Her eyes were red and swollen; her skin was as white as a sheet. As expected, her dreams were full of the parents she'd never see again. They were smiling and waving at her before dissolving into nothingness. She woke mid afternoon her face stiff from the tears that had dried on it. The weak autumn sun was filtering through the window filling the room with a pale light. She sat up rubbing at her eyes, which were extremely sore and tender. Slowly she got up and straightened her dishevelled robes out. To be quite frank she didn't know what to do with herself. Everyone else would be in class. She sniffed slightly and headed to the bathroom in an effort to clear up her appearance. Not that she cared what anyone though anyway. It was just a natural thing to do.

She wandered around the castle listlessly; everyone was currently in lessons, which would not finish for another half an hour. She didn't want to be alone. She could feel herself wanting to be in the company of living, breathing people, not left alone with images of people who had diminished from the world. Tears pricked painfully at her eyes again but she held back from crying. What's the point? Crying isn't going to solve anything, she though in desperation.

It was only when she bumped into Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster, did she find someone who had the time and patience to listen to her.

---

Lily wasn't aware of walking through the corridors, Dumbledore guiding her to his tower office. She was only pulled out of her stupor when Dumbledore's phoenix, Fawkes, flew to her should perching on it happily. Lily gasped half in shock that something so beautiful was perched on her and half in admiration of the way the fiery red of Fawkes's plumage matched with the copper tones of her own hair. She stroked him softly; unaware that Dumbledore was smiling slightly, watching the scene in interest. Eventually she tore her eyes away from the crooning bird on her shoulder to Dumbledore.

"He's beautiful," she said quietly, her voice hoarse from crying.

"Indeed," Dumbledore replied, offering her a bowl of what looked like Sherbet Lemons. Lily declined politely, shaking her head and returning her gaze towards the floor. "I have to say that I'm surprised Lily." Lily looked up from her hands, which she had been avidly staring at.

"At what, Professor?" she asked half curiously, the other half holding back and mourning.

"At the fact you are dealing with the situation you have been placed in better then I would have thought," he said quietly conjuring up a cup of hot chocolate and passing it to her. She took it gratefully sipping on it slightly.

"I'm not Professor," she said glumly, her face falling. "I'm not at all. I can cry, and the more I do, the more it seems to hurt. I can fall asleep and their faces will haunt my dreams. When I wake, I'll find I can't cry anymore. I'll take to wondering around doing nothing. If I'm left alone… I'll end up doing something horrific. They'll still be there inside my head…" she trailed off, taking another sip of the boiling hot chocolate. It burned her tongue, bruising the delicate taste buds, yet she didn't cry out with pain like a normal person would, just swallowed, it roaring down her throat like boiling water being poured into a pan.

"You are strong Lily, not just physically but mentally. I can assure you that you have the strength to move on when the time is right. But for now, you need time to grieve over your loss. Time to heal. However, eventually you will have to move on and you won't be able to look back. Those who are dead never truly leave. They show themselves quite clearly in many ways, including in their children," he said wisely. Lily stared at him through her emerald green eyes.

It was at that moment that someone appeared in Dumbledore's fireplace. He was a fairly tall man with untidy hair that was flecked with grey. He stooped down to avoid hitting his head on the mantle and came out into the more open space in the circular office. Lily was fairly surprised that Dumbledore received visitors straight into his office. With the times that were passing she knew she certainly wouldn't. However, much to her relief Dumbledore smiled.

"Edward! What a pleasant surprise. Is there anything I can do for you?" Dumbledore greeted the man standing up and shaking his hand.

The man, Edward, looked around and saw Lily sitting there with Fawkes on her shoulder. On closer inspection he had dark rings under his eyes and several scars lining the length of his face, he had several chunks missing out of his hands Lily noticed, as her eyes swept over his appearance. He was wearing robes made out of the finest materials she had ever seen; they moved graciously, like water lapping over a rock. It was plainly obvious that they had cost a fair few galleons, and the man in question must be someone of great importance. Especially if Dumbledore was using the gentleman's first name.

"Yes, you can, Dumbledore. I need to see James," he said, returning his gaze to the Headmaster's face. Dumbledore nodded slightly. Lily felt her eyes widen ever so slightly, was this James Potter's father? Even though she disliked the younger Potter greatly she had never known him talk openly about his family… or how rich they were. Her family hadn't been rich… just normal people.

"Ah, I thought that would be the case," Dumbledore said with a smile. He turned to Lily his eyes dancing. "Lily, this is James's father, Edward Potter. Edward, this is Lily Evans." Mr. Potter looked at her, mild surprise written all over his face. He quickly recovered and smiled, taking her hand.

"Pleasure to finally meet you Ms Evans," he said shaking her hand, an odd twinkle in his eye.

"I shall be back with young Mr. Potter shortly," Dumbledore said, exiting the office briskly. The door closed with a small bang and there was a silence where only the roar of the fire could be heard, crackling merrily in the fireplace.

"Mr. Potter?" Lily asked quietly, her voice hoarse and clogged up, making him jump slightly. "What did you mean by finally?"

Mr. Potter laughed good-naturedly and sat in the spare armchair. He looked at Lily carefully out of the same eyes she had met, staring at her.

"My son never shuts up about you, and that's when I'm at home." Lily looked quite stunned. She new James liked her, but to never stop talking about her?

"He-he does?" she asked timidly.

"Oh yes," Mr. Potter replied with a smile before it fell. "How are you Lily? After the news of your parents-"

"I don't know," Lily said before he could finish his sentence, she couldn't bear to hear someone say it aloud, not so soon after she had received the news. She took a deep breath, trying to stop her self from lashing out, or saying something she shouldn't. However, her self-control was thin on the ground and she suddenly burst out, unable to help herself. "I keep seeing them in my head, and realising that they aren't there anymore! I just- I don't know how to feel! I don't know how I'm meant to feel, I haven't heard from my sister at all, I don't know what's happening, what will happen next. I don't know what to do with myself, I can't think straight, I just… Argh I just don't know what to do," Lily said, tears welling up in her eyes. Talking it through made it all seem so… final.

Mr. Potter nodded understandingly and said no more on the subject. The door of the office opened and in entered Dumbledore followed by a very confused looking James.

---

James sighed heavily as he entered Transfiguration roughly ten minutes late. Professor McGonagall looked up from the rolls of parchment she appeared to be marking and glared at him. The inhabitants of the classroom looked up from the textbooks they had currently been studying.

"Potter!" she barked, standing up abruptly. "May I ask you why you have just walked into my lesson more then ten minutes late?" James sighed. He was ready for the week's worth of detentions that was surely heading his way. That was until Professor Dumbledore walked in, his midnight blue robes swishing about him majestically.

"Minerva, I need to borrow Mr. Potter for the rest of this lesson," he said politely. Professor McGonagall sighed irritably.

"If you really insist, Albus. Potter, I expect you to catch up on today's lesson and complete the homework I will be setting for tonight," she said to James before sitting down at her desk and shuffling through a stack of parchments.

James exited the room, following Dumbledore towards his office.

"Professor? Why do you need me?" he asked nervously, hoping that his headmaster hadn't found out that it was him who had blown up the boy's toilets on the third floor the other week.

"It's not me who needs to see you I'm afraid, it's your father," Dumbledore merely replied, uttering the password ('sugarplum') and climbing up the spiral staircase. James's face creased into a frown. His father worked as one of the elate Aurors at the Ministry and had, over the years, increasingly little time to spend with him and his mother. As Voldemort grew stronger and more and more Aurors died everyday. Why he was visiting him on a school day, James had no idea.

Dumbledore opened the door to his large circular office, revealing many cabinets and tables displaying various contraptions. Sitting in one of the two armchairs in front of Dumbledore's large desk with its numerous books and sheets of parchment littering it in an untidy order, was his father, Edward Potter.

---

"Dad?" James asked questioningly, not noticing Lily, as her armchair was turned to far round it blocked her view. "What are you doing here?"

Mr. Potter looked up and smiled slightly. "Can't I see my own son for once?" he asked before continuing without a reply. "I was just talking to Lily," he said gesturing to the other armchair. James eyes widened with shock as he saw Lily sitting in the armchair, Fawkes the phoenix perched on her shoulder.

"Oh," James said eventually, flushing slightly red. "Is that all?" he said not pausing, raising an eyebrow.

"No, there's a real reason why I came, though I'd prefer if I discussed it with you alone."

Lily got up slowly. "I'll go. Nice meeting you, Mr. Potter," she said smiling weakly. Dumbledore was waiting at the office door and ushered her out. James watched her go, his eyes scanning the back of her head as though he was going to see right into her mind. The door closed. He rounded on his father.

"What did you say?" he demanded furiously. Mr. Potter shrugged nonchalantly, keeping his clam expression, even though it was clear James was extremely annoyed.

"Nothing," he said laughing, breaking the stillness of his face. "Nice girl, pretty. Intelligent from what I've seen as well. Reminds me of your mother actually. She'd make a good Auror," he suggested.

"No!" James said, a little angry. "She's not going to be an Auror, dad. I don't want her to be an Auror."

"Why ever not?" Mr. Potter raised an eyebrow. Then it dawned on him. "Oh. James, are you sure?"

"Yes I'm completely bloody sure!" James exclaimed taking the vacant armchair. "Anyway, what did you want to see me about?" he said pressing on.

"I'm retiring as an elite Auror," Edward informed him lightly. James blinked. His father, Edward Potter was retiring at the grand old age of… thirty-nine. He still had more then half of his life left to live! Why the hell was he retiring?

"W-why?" James stuttered taken back by his father's revelation. His father's face turned serious, the lines it bore becoming more pronounced.

"Because I'm more useful sitting behind a desk then going out and capturing Death Eaters. I'm getting too old to be running around like I'm your age. Besides, they want me to teach junior Aurors. You know, train them up a bit so they're fit to go out into the world." There was silence. James had taken to looking at the floor with intent, instead of his father's face.

"Okay, if that's what you want," James said indifferently, trying to keep his true feelings hidden... Mr. Potter nodded slightly, though it was quite obvious that he was puzzled with his son's reaction.

"So… how's school going?" his father asked, changing the subject.

"Same old," James replied, looking up slightly.

"Good, good. Well, I best be getting back to your mother. She's having Bagnold over for dinner," he said getting up and rolling his eyes. James stood up as well.

"Bye Dad," he said reluctantly. Mr. Potter smiled and clapped him on the back.

"No worries son. You'll get her in the end. Just give her some space for now," he said allowing the smile to spread. James merely nodded. In a whirl of Floo powder he had disappeared.

James exhaled slowly, running a hand through his hair. That was his father, always rushing off to do something other then talk to him and then trying to give him advice. Like he'd know anything! James thought angrily, walking towards the office door. He opened it to find Lily and Dumbledore in deep conversation on the stairs.

"Ah, James. Have you finished?" Dumbledore asked looking up his long white bearded glimmering in the semi darkness.

"Huh? Oh yes," said James coming back into reality.

"Would you like to join myself and Ms Evans over a cup of tea?" he asked. The offer was too tempting to pass up. He need time to think things through, which would be a lost cause if he tried to do so in class. Then again, his thinking could be put on hold for a while.

"Yes. Yes, I think I will," he answered, turning back into the office.

---

Lily was once again sat in the armchair previous facing Dumbledore across the desk, though this time James Potter was keeping her company. She had hoped he'd decline Dumbledore's offer, she knew he knew how much she disliked him, as on several occasions in the past four years she had told him so.

She didn't feel like talking very much; her mind was wandering back to her parents and the happier moments of her life with them. How she would miss them in the holidays… at Christmas… her birthday… Easter… so many things they would now miss out on in her life… the day she walked down the aisle… life wasn't fair.

"I'm guessing you'll want to contact your sister sometime soon, to make the arrangements for the funerals?" Dumbledore said gently, breaking her out of her trance. Lily swallowed biting her lip, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Y-yes I guess," she said slowly. "I'll-I'll need to go home for a few days-sort everything out," she stammered. She saw James cast her a side ways glance but ignored it the best she could. She was in no mood to deal with him.

"Of course. You have my full support, Lily. You may be excused from lessons and your Head Girl duties for as long as you need; I'm sure James will manage without you… I'm guessing you'd like Ms McKinnon to accompany you to the funerals?" Lily nodded slowly, gulping. _Marlene_! Her mind screamed. Of course she wanted her best friend by her side. Lily didn't actually think she could make it alone. Dumbledore nodded. "Then you both have my full permission to leave Hogwarts for the funerals," he told her soothingly.

"T-Thanks, Professor, Sir," she mumbled under her breath. James was still looking at her, his persistent gaze making her feel uncomfortable. Lily couldn't handle this anymore. She stood up swiftly and made for the door.

"You know you are welcome here at all times, Lily," Dumbledore added. She forced a smile in thanks, nodded to Potter and left the room as quickly as possible.

---

Slight changes made to Chapter 1; reposted as of 12th August, 2004 [Australian time]. Nothing major, just some spelling etc.

xxoo anniePADFOOT & FallenFlower


	3. II: Fear of the Name

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Anything you do not recognise from the either the films or the books, belongs to the author of this FANFICTION.

**Summary:** [L/J 7th year] The wizarding world is a storm of lies, death & betrayal entwined with love. Struggling to do the right thing, they must learn the true value of what they're fighting for or else be lost in the thunder within. ****

**Genre:** Angst/Romance

**Rating:** PG-13

**The Thunder Within**

By SaveOurSouls

**Chapter 2:** 'Fear of the Name'

'Fear of the name increases fear of the thing itself' spoken by Albus Dumbledore, PS/SS; The Man With Two Faces, page 216

Lily walked hastily towards the girl's dormitories and up the spiral staircase. As soon as she walked in, she fell on her bed in a heap. Talking with Dumbledore had helped a lot, but her anguish was still there. Her thoughts were still in Dumbledore's office; he had told her to contact Petunia about the funeral. It would be a dreary task, but it had to be done. Lily picked up some spare parchment and a quill and began to write. I'd better get it over and done with, she thought to herself.

_Petunia,_

_I'm aware that this is the last thing you want right now, but there's a funeral to plan. You may not want me there, but I loved mum and dad as much as you did._

At this, Lily had to pause. She could feel the tears welling up behind her eyes, but refused to cry. She had done more than enough of that in the past few days.

_I don't want us to be fighting at the funeral, Petunia. Ignore me if you must, but let it be a peaceful day, for it would be what they wanted._

_Let me know,_

_Lily_

Lily read and re-read the letter. It sounded okay. Petunia, of course, hadn't been on friendly terms with Lily since the letter from Hogwarts telling Lily she was a witch. Nevertheless, Lily still tried to make peace with her elder sister, even though it was in vain. The rest of the school were still in lessons, thankfully. Lily dragged herself up to the Owlery and enlisted one of the school's owls to send the letter to Petunia. She didn't even attempt to lift her feet off the floor; it was more like a shuffle, her head tilted towards the ground as though it hid the answers to all of her problems.

---

"Come on, Lil. You need to rest," Marlene told her gently. Ever since the news of her parents' death, Lily hadn't slept a wink. Lessons were over and Marlene made it her job to get Lily to sleep. Lily was making it very hard, though.

"I know. It's just that every time I close my eyes, I see their faces Mar…" Lily trailed off looking helpless. She shuddered slightly and shook her head, as if trying to throw away the thought.

"Look, Lily. You're going to have to sooner or later. A quick kip won't harm you," Marlene reassured her. Lily definitely needed help; even though she was a strong young woman, some things couldn't be handled alone.

"I'm scared. If I fall asleep I'll see them. Then it will be like they're still alive. And when I wake up, I'll have to go through their deaths all over again," Lily whispered. Her throat was still a bit hoarse, even though she hadn't cried for a while. A strange look dawned on Marlene's face. Wordlessly, she rummaged around her trunk and pulled out a small flask of liquid.

"Here. It's a Dreamless Sleep potion. I got some from Madame Pomfrey when I was having those horrible nightmares last year. There's still some left. It should help," Marlene handed her the flask. Lily's eyes widened slightly. She looked like she was having an internal battle; to take it, or not to take it. Finally, her weariness won over.

"Thanks," Lily mumbled gratefully. She downed it in one gulp, even so, it still tasted repulsive. Almost immediately she began to feel drowsy. Swiftly changing into her pyjamas, she settled into her bed and fell into a dreamless sleep. She wasn't aware that Marlene was still watching her, an expression of sorrow upon her usually cheerful face.

"Oh, Lily," she sighed, also changing into her pyjamas. No doubt, it would be a while before Marlene fell asleep.

---

Lily woke up the next day. Her dreamless slumber had done wonders; Lily felt rested for the first time since the terrible news had reached her. As she sat up in her bed, Lily realised only Marlene was left in the dormitory. The other girls must already be at breakfast. Lily stood up reluctantly and looked at her best friend. A second later the two girls were in a tight embrace.

"You're strong Lily. You'll get through this," her best friend whispered comfortingly. "Just give it time."

"Thanks Mar," Lily whispered back. Lily held onto her best friend like she was her life support. I won't cry, I won't cry, Lily chanted to herself silently. After a few minutes, the two girls broke away slowly.

"Come on. Let's get some breakfast; you look like you haven't eaten in years," Marlene suggested. Lily made a face and gestured to herself. Marlene simply smiled and waved her wand slightly. Lily's rumpled and messy appearance was instantly gone. Her hair looked brushed and her face was fresh. Lily quickly replaced her pyjamas with school robes and followed Marlene down the stairs.

---

James was still half-dead. The rest of the guys had already gone down to the Great Hall, but James had taken his time. On his way down the stairs, he bumped into no one other than Lily, the girl who had occupied his thoughts for hours before he drifted off into sleep last night. James started to apologise, but stopped for some reason.

"Oh, sor-" she began, but didn't finish her sentence either. Lily looked down immediately, as if it was instinct. She still hates me, James thought desperately. After a moment, she raised her head, emerald eyes piercing hazel ones. She stared at him determinedly, as if daring him to say something. James stood silently. He didn't offer her any condolences, he didn't ask her out, he just stood and watched her. His mouth had clamped itself shut and James wasn't sure whether this was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Come on, Lily," a voice called out. With one last look at James, Lily walked away.

"Idiot," James muttered to himself. Sighing, he also made his way to the Great Hall. He reached his seat and sat wordlessly.

"What's up, Prongs?" asked Sirius in a concerned voice. Remus must have given him a swift kick under the table, because a second later Sirius made an apologetic face and turned back to his breakfast. James sighed again, turning his head so that he could see Lily.

"Just leave her alone for a bit James. You mean well, I know, but she needs some space," whispered Moony. He always was the reasonable one. James nodded, indicating he had heard his friend, but didn't tear his eyes away from Lily.

---

Lily on the other hand, was oblivious to James's gaze. In fact, she was pretty much oblivious to everything, except for Marlene talking to her.

'Come on, Lil. We didn't come down here to look at the food, we came down here to eat it!" she exclaimed. Lily half smiled at her friend's antics. "Was that a smile, Lily Evans?"

"Yeah, it was. Thanks," Lily answered. Marlene grinned and turned to her food. At that moment, the post arrived. At first it seemed like Lily hadn't received anything, but a few seconds later, an owl did swoop down and drop a letter in front of her. Lily stared at it and cautiously opened it.

_Freak,_

_I've already planned everything there is to plan, so don't you dare try to ruin this moment for me, the one time I will get to say a proper good bye to my parents without having the limelight stolen from me, by you. I don't want you there at all. As far as I'm concerned, you don't deserve to attend the funeral. You are the only, singular reason, why our parents are both dead, they are dead and I'll hate you for that for eternity. Unfortunately, I've been forced to tell you that the funeral is in two days. If you get here, which I hope to God you don't, I'm sure someone will tell you the circumstances of their deaths if you ask, as I'm certainly not prepared to divulge the details to you. Prepare to spend your time at home in a living nightmare as you definitely won't get any hospitality, or special treatment from me, not like you got from Mum and Dad. One of these days you'll get what's coming to you Lily Evans and I hope you die, you'll deserve it._

_The only real Evans left,_

_Petunia_

A cry escaped Lily. And she did the only thing available, which was to run for it. Marlene sighed; just as things were starting to look up a bit, she thought. Grabbing the letter to keep it away from prying eyes, she followed her red haired friend up to the girls' dormitories. Lily was completely unaware that a pair of eyes hadn't left her all through breakfast. And she was also unaware that the owner of those eyes still had her on his mind.

James watched Lily run out of the hall. She had received some post, read it and ran. The Great Hall had been virtually silent through all of this and they hadn't moved. Except for Marlene, of course, who had run to find and comfort her friend. James wished with all his heart that he could follow Lily too, but he didn't move. He knew Lily still hated him and James didn't want to make her feel worse than she already did.

---

Marlene walked in to find Lily sobbing into her pillow. She smiled sadly; this wasn't unexpected. In fact, both Lily and Marlene, though they wouldn't admit it to one another, had been waiting for Petunia's nasty letter.

"Lily?" Marlene said tentatively. Lily didn't move from her position. Marlene sighed and walked over to the bed. She lifted up Lily's head and forced her to sit up. Lily's face was streaked with tears and her eyes were red.

"Why?" asked Lily. Marlene knew what Lily was saying. Why did Petunia have to be such a nasty piece of work? And why does she hate witches so much? But Marlene didn't know the answers to any of those questions, so she just hugged Lily again.

"Come one Lily. You can't let Petunia get to you like this," Marlene whispered to her friend.

"I know. But it's so hard…" mumbled Lily. Marlene tightened her hold on Lily.

"Enough of this. We're going to see Dumbledore. Remember, you told me he said you were welcome there at any time. Well, now is any time. So get up and let's go," Marlene commanded.

She dragged Lily up and both girls made their way to Dumbledore's office. When they reached the gargoyle, Lily gave the password and they met their headmaster. He was seated behind his office, examining extensive scrolls of parchment.

"Ah. Ms Evans, Ms McKinnon. I had a feeling you might come see me," he said, eyes twinkling. "What seems to be the problem?" Wordlessly, Marlene handed him the offending letter, her arm sill around Lily. Dumbledore read it quickly, the twinkle in his light blue eyes dying out slightly.

"Sir, how is it possible she can be so awful? It's not Lily's fault, is it!" Marlene immediately stood up for her friend.

"Of course not, that is the furthest possible reason from the truth. I don't know why Lily's sister is acting this way. I know she has certain… dislike… for you, Lily and apparently for witches and wizards overall. But the question is: why? Can you recall any moment that could have caused her too become so opposed to your talents?" Dumbledore trailed off. Lily nodded uncertainly; she could remember it as if it had happened yesterday, no matter how hard she tried to forget it.

Dumbledore stood up, and took out a shallow stone basin, odd carvings around the edge that looked suspiciously like runes. The content of the basin seemed to glow in a weak silvery light. It was like nothing Lily had ever seen before. The liquid moved ceaselessly becoming ruffled like water beneath wind, yet also like clouds separated whirling smoothly before her very eyes. Beside her she heard Marlene gasp, as if realising what it was. "This is a Pensive, quite a marvellous invention. It may make it easier for you if you don't want to tell us."

"What do I do?" asked Lily nervously, having never used a Pensive before.

"Simply think of that moment and take your wand to your temple. The memory will come in a silvery substance attached to your wand. Drop it into the Pensive," Dumbledore instructed. Lily did as she was told and a second later, all three inhabitants of the office were transported back to a long time ago, or so it seemed to Lily…

_…"Come on, 'Tunia. Please won't you plait my hair? It always looks so pretty when you do it," asked an eleven-year-old Lily. She made a face at her sister, who looked to be around fourteen. Petunia gave a fake sigh, but it was quite obvious to anyone that the two sisters were close._

_"Okay, Lily. Sit still though this time, otherwise it will look a mess." Lily smiled and took a seat in front of Petunia. Petunia took a brush and started running it through Lily's thick, red curls. _

_Petunia appeared to be having fun, playing with her younger sister's hair, however, the tranquil atmosphere was disrupted when a large barn owl swooped in to their house, through the open window. Both Lily and Petunia screamed in shock. The owl dropped what appeared to be a letter onto Lily's lap before flying off._

_"What's going on?" asked Petunia, still frightened. Lily shrugged in a confused manner as her parents entered the room having heard both girls' shrieks. Lily opened the letter carefully. Her emerald eyes widened in shock as she read and re-read the letter, not quite taking it in. Wordlessly, she passed it over to her parents. A few minutes later, her parents were both staring at her in shock. Her father faltered, before her mother cut in._

_"Congratulations, Lily. You're a witch," her mother told her warmly. _

_"You mean, it isn't a joke?"__ Lily said her mouth opening slightly._

_"Well. I don't see how it can be. I mean, you've always been able to do… unusual things and it says here someone will come and explain everything…" her father trailed off reading the letter yet again._

_"W-w-what?__ Lily's a what?" Petunia stuttered, her large pale eyes bulging. Lily made a movement towards her elder sister. "Y-Y-You FREAK, stay away from me! STAY AWAY FROM ME! How could you not know you weren't one and not tell me! You're a witch, an abnormal, evil little-" Petunia screamed._

_"Petunia!__ That is ENOUGH!" their dad scolded her._

_"What? Why? Can't you see she's a freak, Dad? It isn't normal!" Petunia yelled, she turned her eyes to Lily's. "I hate you!" she hissed. Lily looked at the floor for a while, a sad expression portrayed on her face. However, it didn't last long turning quickly into anger._

_"It's not my fault, Petunia!" she yelled back, her eyes flashing angrily, her fists clenched, trembling with suppressed rage._

_"Yes it is!" Petunia put her hands over her eyes, as if to escape, but as she felt around her face and shoulders, she realised clumps of blonde hair were falling out at an alarming rate. Lily's eyes widened. Petunia stood there surrounded by clumps of blonde hair her mouth open. _

_"YOU DID THIS, DIDN'T YOU?" Petunia screamed, quickly reaching her conclusion, before running to her room and slamming the door…_

Lily and Marlene soon found themselves back in Dumbledore's office, as if they had never left at all.

"Well," Dumbledore said sighing deeply. "I think that clears up a few things." Lily broke down again, sobbing uncontrollably into her robes. The shock of seeing her parents again had unnerved her. It was different from remembering the memory, it was just images in her head, but this… they were real.

---

James looked out the window. He had History of Magic, but it was highly unusual that he was awake. He was thinking about Lily of course; nothing else had penetrated his mind other than the green eyed beauty that was in such a state of torment. He didn't even realise the knock on the door. Or Professor McGonagall talking to Binns. Only when Sirius gave him a sharp kick did he realise that his Transfiguration teacher was actually talking to him.

"Potter! Are you listening?" she barked.

"Yes, Ma'am," he lied.

"Good. Professor Dumbledore would like to see you in his office about your Head Boy duties while Ms Evans is away. Please go there at the end of this class," she continued. Nodding at Professor Binns, she headed out of the room. Come on, how much longer of this lesson is there anyway? James asked himself.

Apparently not very long, for a few minutes later class was dismissed. James made his way to Dumbledore's office, brooding on the way. Sirius, Remus and Peter were getting pretty fed up with his attitude; well, it was more Sirius then anybody else. Remus hadn't said anything, like Peter, but Sirius… James had a very complicated best friend. However, Sirius had to understand that James couldn't… Couldn't what? He asked himself. Couldn't snap himself out of it? That could be it, mused James. Sirius didn't understand; he loved Lily. Really loved her. And that's not something he could easily snap out of.

"Sugarplum," James said dully. The gargoyle let him pass. James walked in to Dumbledore's office, expecting to see the lined, rather tiered face of his headmaster sitting behind his desk. He certainly hadn't expected an empty room. James decided it was better if he just waited there for a while, until Dumbledore came back.

He took his time looking around the head master's office. It was full of wonderful contraptions, the use behind them unknown. Finally his eyes rested on the stone basin near the desk. A Pensive that had clearly just been used and still had a fresh memory inside. It sat there, motionless, tempting him. A quick look wouldn't hurt anyone, would it? A few minutes passed and James had remained in the same position, debating the situation in his head. Eventually the internal battle was over and his curiosity had won. He leaned his head into the Pensive and was busy re-living someone's memory.

Is that… Lily? Merlin, she looks almost exactly like she did when she came to Hogwarts, and that other girl that must be… her sister. And those are definitely her parents; he had seen them on platform nine and three-quarters before. James was reliving Lily's memory. A bad memory by the looks of it. James had barely finished watching when he felt a slight tilt. Someone must have entered the room, James realised, panicking.

He quickly pulled out his head and prepared himself to face a disappointed Dumbledore or even an angry McGonagall. He certainly wasn't ready for a horrified Lily. Yet, there she was, the girl from the memory, only older, staring at him in trepidation, despair and something else not clearly shown on her face. James was yet again frozen to the spot, not the slightest idea of what he was meant to do, his heart was thumping in his chest painfully as the seconds slipped by and he seemed to be incapable of uttering a single word. His conscience was screaming at him for being so stupid. She looked like she was ready to either slap him or cry and still he stood there staring at her. Instead she did neither.

"Why?" she said softly. James looked at her even more stunned then before.

"I- I, I'm so-"

"I don't believe you, your never sorry for anything, ever! Why should I start believing you now when you- when you… pry into my personal life, like that. So why? What, did you think you could use it as blackmail or something, Potter? Or are you going to use it to poke fun at me, I'm really not in the mood at the moment…" she trailed off in the same soft tone she had begun in. James felt a nasty, guilty pang come over him. He wished she would just walk up to him and slap him hard round the face, or scream and yell at him, pelt him with objects nearest to her. Anything but this. Her hurt face was imprinted into his mind like a stamp it was pure torture seeing her being torn apart not by Voldemort this time or her sister, but by him.

He remained silent and looked down at the floor. However, when he looked back up again he could see a solitary tear drop rolling down her pale cheek. In that second, James made up his mind. He approached her tentatively, then a sense of recklessness came over him and moments later, he was hugging Lily tightly, afraid to let her go in case her face was a picture of anger.

---

Lily was stunned. After a good hour of being comforted in Dumbledore's office by him and Marlene, both girls had left, Lily feeling slightly better. Remus had approached her not long after telling her that Dumbledore would like to see her again to explain what would happen whilst she was away, something he had forgotten to do before.

Lily had taken some time convincing Marlene that she'd be okay on her own for that short space of time and made her way up to the office she had been in not long ago. The last thing she expected to see was no Dumbledore and one James Potter looking into the Pensive. It took her a few moments to remember that she hadn't emptied the Pensive. That was her worst memory James Potter was reliving.

She stared at him in disbelief; she had asked him as calmly as she could why. He had started to answer yet she had continued, informing him that she didn't believe him, that she suspected he was going to blackmail her, either that or poke fun at her. All things he had tried to do in the past. He hadn't been able to look at her in the face. Much to her own surprise she was too enraged and overwhelmed to shout at him, or hit him, or do anything. She was possibly even more bewildered when she found herself in his arms, tears dripping down her cheeks.

There she was in James Potter's arms. James Potter, one of the people she disliked most in the world.

"I'm sorry," James muttered, tightening his arms around her. "For everything."

"It's not you- It's not your fault, Potter. Well, maybe, maybe some of it…" she mumbled back wiping her eyes free from tears. She was afraid to say more in case of blurting things out he didn't need to know.

"Maybe you could call me James?" he asked desperately, in an attempt to lighten the mood, and for some good to come out of the situation.

"Okay-okay… James," she replied reluctantly. In truth, she didn't mind. He had a nice name and since they were both Heads, they had a good example to set. He gave her a grin as he let go. She smiled back slightly.

"Come on. We can find Dumbledore later," James suggested. Lily nodded lightly and the pair walked out of the room.

"Comfort can often be found in the most unexpected place. Including an enemy's arms," Dumbledore whispered, hidden from view, having watched the scene unfold before him.

---

We just want to thank all of our reviewers;

- Buckbeak Girl (Double thanks for you, reviewing the Prologue & ch. 1)

- Dancinguyn

- Kris-tina4 (Double thanks for you too)

We appreciate your input heaps! If you have any ideas or comments, don't hesitate to tell us.

xxoo anniePADFOOT & FallenFlower


	4. III: Give Me A Reason

**Disclaimer:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Anything you do not recognise from the either the films or the books, belongs to the author of this FANFICTION.

**Summary:** [L/J 7th year] The wizarding world is a storm of lies, death & betrayal entwined with love. Struggling to do the right thing, they must learn the true value of what they're fighting for or else be lost in the thunder within. ****

**Genre:** Angst/Romance

**Rating:** PG-13

**The Thunder Within**

By SaveOurSouls

**Chapter 3:** 'Give Me a Reason'

'Give me a reason' spoken by Severus Snape, PoA; The Servant of Lord Voldemort, page 264

It was bitterly cold outside and a strong wind didn't help matters. However, Lily wasn't aware of the biting cold; she didn't shiver, or wrap her arms around herself like Marlene had. She just stood silently. The time had come for her and Marlene to leave for the funeral of her parents.

"Take as much time as you need. When you feel you are ready, just stick out your wand and the Knight Bus will come pick you up. Be careful," Dumbledore said. Although his voice was quiet, it was easily heard over all the other noise going on.

"Thanks, Sir," Marlene muttered. Lily just inclined her head into a half nod. Both girls stepped onto the violent purple bus carefully.

"Welcome to the Knight Bus, I-" the conductor started to speak, but Dumbledore must have shaken his head as a sign to stop.

"Go on, girls," Dumbledore added, just before the door closed.

"Hold on, then," the driver, a middle aged man with thick rimmed glasses and frizzy hair, said. Lily and Marlene took a seat and in preparation grabbed hold of something. There was another BANG! And they were off. It was a long ride to Lily's house, extremely bumpy, each girl getting thrown from her seat several times. Both of them however, kept silent for most of it. They sat there, holding on to a pole or chair for dear life in a desperate attempt not to get thrown forward… or backwards for that matter, thinking about what they were about to face.

---

"Come on, Prongs. You can't stay like this," Sirius moaned. James refused to budge from his curled up position in a squashy front chair facing the fire in the Gryffindor common room. He had been sitting like this for a good three hours now and his friends were sick of it.

"You know how much it kills me to say this, but Padfoot's right," Remus added. Sirius feigned a hurt expression while Remus just smiled sardonically. The three remaining Marauders made it their own personal task to snap James out of his funk.

"Although I'm highly offended at what Moony just said, we haven't played a prank in ages. Look, Prongs; I know you're Head Boy. And I know you are literally obsessed with Lily. But she's not here right now and there's nothing you can do," Sirius's words hit it where it hurt.

"Exactly! There's nothing I can do, Sirius! Do you know how much that fact is killing me?" snapped James, his expression stony.

"Look, James. This is eating you up," Remus told him carefully. James sighed, his face softening. Remus had an annoying tendency to always be right; James suspected this time was no exception.

"Okay, Prongs. I don't know what it's like. I've never loved a girl like that before, so I don't know. I do know Remus is right though. He's always right, remember? You have to do something," Sirius replied impatiently. James and Sirius were so close that they could almost read each other's thoughts. Like just then.

"Come on, Prongs! When Lily comes back, you can talk to her. But for now, there really isn't much point in moping," Peter said in his small voice. Sirius clapped him on the back cheerfully.

"Good man, Wormtail. Now, come on. We have people to cheer up!" Sirius jumped up happily. "Everyone is depressed and I can see why. I'm not completely insensitive. But a nice, amusing prank will lighten the mood." Remus shook his head at Sirius's speech.

"Nothing mean, Padfoot," warned Remus. Sirius just grinned innocently in return. Remus had grown to be very wary of that grin. Old habits die hard, Remus thought dryly.

---

Funerals were always horrible experiences to go through. However, this one seemed a thousand times worse. Lily couldn't stand it. Petunia had taken over the whole event. She hadn't even mentioned her yet, not that she had expected her too. Having spent the best part of seven years away from home she highly doubted whether anyone remembered that the Evans' had a younger daughter. She listen to Petunia reminisce about good times that she spent with her parents and suddenly realised with a twinge that she had missed out on a lot of events that had happened whilst she had been away. Lily was quick to notice that Petunia hadn't told any memories with the slightest mention of her in them. She could see the malicious sparkle in Petunia's eyes as she remained unmentioned. The way things were going, the people at the funeral wouldn't even know that there was another Evans girl. However, Marlene came to her rescue, yet again.

"Now, is there anyone else who would like to say a few words about these two fine people?" asked the Vicar, looking around. Petunia gave Lily a glare that simply said: you do, you die. Not that Lily was about to, she'd probably break down. The same could not be said for Marlene, who had plans all of her own.

"Yes, I would," she called out. She made her way gracefully to the stand, in a modest black dress and coat that Lily had leant her for the day. She started the speech that she had prepared just in case Petunia had mentioned Lily, she had half hoped that she wouldn't have to, though Petunia had ensured that it was going to happen as soon as she failed to mention her sister. Lily herself was looking startled, her mouth shaped in an 'O'. However, that wasn't the worst of it; Petunia had already started to complain.

"Excuse me, but I-" she started to say, Marlene took no notice of the older girl and pressed on with her speech.

"My name is Marlene McKinnon and although I'm not related to Mr. and Mrs. Evans by blood, I came to know them as my second parents. You see, from the moment I met Lily, their youngest daughter, we instantly clicked. We've been best friends for seven years now and we always will be. I'll die before letting any kind of harm happen to her and she would do the same for me. I've spent countless school breaks and summers over at the Evans' house, and each time I got to know Lily's parents a bit better, every day I spend with Lily, I can see traces of them in her. Not just appearance wise, even though she and Mr. Evans share the same porcelain skin and brilliant green eyes and Lily did inherit her mother's fiery red curls and delicate features. No, I'm talking about Lily herself. Every time I talk to her, I comfort her or be near her, I see their kindness in her, their warmth and passion, their love for life. I see all of that repeated in Lily. I see her funny side, her strict side, her care free side and hundreds of other little things that make Lily truly her parents' girl. I see them in their youngest daughter very clearly.

"The biggest thing they passed down to her though wasn't any of that. It was their strength. Lily has the strength of both of her parents combined; a mental strength that amazes everyone, including me. I've seen Mr. and Mrs. Evans deal in the most astonishing scenarios and I've seen them handle everything thrown their way together and without hurting Lily in the slightest. I've seen Lily get through the most difficult situations using a quiet type of confidence and strength that she got from them. I know I'm going to miss my second mother and father terribly; and I know Lily will miss them even more. Though, with a friend like her, whose strength gives me inspiration to move on; I know we can do it." Marlene felt her eyes water up, but refused to cry.

Lily on the other had had tears pouring down her face freely. She sat very still, waiting for everyone's reaction. The crowd clapped and she smiled slightly. Marlene smiled too and Lily's whole face lit up. But Petunia ruined the moment again; she gave Lily the most hated look Lily or Marlene had ever seen. But that didn't stop Marlene. She walked back down to her seat next to Lily and placed an arm around her.

"That was really beautiful, Mar. Thanks," mumbled Lily. Marlene smiled in return.

"Anytime. It's what I'm here for," Marlene replied.

The rest of the service was heart wrenching for Lily. There was a very haunting moment, which would stay in Lily's thoughts and dreams forever. She was watching the two coffins get lowered into the pre-dug graves, slowly but surely… inch by inch. The tombstones were already in place, both quite similar.

_Jacob Evans: 1935 - 1977_

_Heather Evans: 1936 - 1977_

_Loving parents,_

Lily didn't get past the 'loving parent's line. It hurt too much, just looking at it, so she averted her eyes. A light drizzle had started by this time soaking through her black clothes till they were damper than anything else. As the coffins' reached the bottom, Petunia stepped forward. The Vicar pressed a handful of dirt into her palm. Then, surprisingly, he motioned for Lily and did the same to her. Petunia glared heavily at her again, but did not raise a voice. Petunia then threw the dirt onto Mr. Evans's coffin. Lily did the same for her mother. She then stepped back next to Marlene and watched the burial. Never again will I see them, she realised again. This time it was final, no more waking up and thinking they were still okay. No, this time, it was really over. There bodies were gone, buried. Even though Lily was still grieving, she could accept it now. They were truly dead and no matter how much she cried and grieved, nothing could bring them back… nothing.

---

Sirius, Remus, James and Peter were in the middle of planning another brilliant prank. Of course, before they put everything in motion, they needed the right spells and potions. So they headed to the library. Contrary to popular belief, they did know where it was. Actually, they knew their way around it rather well; seven years of researching various pranks tended to do that to you. But their walk to the library didn't go quite as planned.

"So it's Potter and his pathetic entourage. How's life without the Mudblood? I dare say, it would be brilliant to rid the school of them all and not just one," Snape sneered, seemingly appearing out of nowhere like he usually did.

James knew who Snape was talking about and he came over with the huge desire to hit him, hard. Remus was frowning in Snape's direction; Peter was subtly moving himself behind Sirius, using him as a shield between himself and the pallid, hook nosed boy. Sirius himself had his wand ready and was just waiting for a reason to attack Snape.

"Shove it, Snivellus," growled Sirius, sounding a lot like the dog he became once a month. He was obviously in no mood to deal with a greasy git like Snape. Of course, Snape didn't stop there. Apparently, nothing gave him a bigger thrill than taunting the foursome of boys he hated with a passion, even though he new he ended up in more trouble with them then it was actually worth. Nevertheless, he seemed to enjoy insulting them in those few seconds before they put him in his place, or in his case, into the ground.

"Or what, Black? Come on, what is little Black going to do about it? Run to mummy? Oh, I forgot, you don't have a mother to run to," taunted Snape, clearly enjoying hitting Sirius where it hurt. Sirius refused to show signs of weakness, though. He laughed at Snape's attempts to provoke him; Sirius had left behind any ties to his family in the summer after fifth year and he had never looked back.

"Why would I want to run to that miserable hag? Besides, Snivellus, at least I have the pleasure of knowing there's nothing living in my hair. You know, a handy little invention was made a while ago. I call it shampoo, along with the rest of the world's population. You really should give it a go, it would do you wonders. I could send you some if you like…" Sirius snapped back. To his immense pleasure, Snape scowled slightly, but recovered far too quickly.

"Nothing can live in grease like that; it would die instantly," put in James viciously, before Snape had the chance to say anything. Yes, James was Head Boy and yes, he should be setting a proper example. However, there was no one else around and he was hardly going to let Snape walk all over him and his friends. He had never let him do it before and he saw no reason why he should let him start doing it now.

"Big words there Potter. Come on, curse me. Put your money where your mouth is. No Mudblood here to stop you," Snape jeered, a smirk curling on his lip as James balled his fists in anger. Sirius tried to launch himself at Snape, but thankfully Remus grabbed the back of his robes, holding him back with great difficulty, for he had to motion for Peter to help.

"Don't you dare call Lily a Mudblood, Snivellus, because you know what you are? You are a snivelling, insignificant poor excuse for a human being, with a bastard for a father. What has she ever done to you, apart from try to defend you? She shouldn't have bothered, I know I certainly would waste my energy saving your neck, again," James said so venomously that Snape actually took a small step backwards. He quickly realised his mistake and raised his wand in preparation of a spell.

"Serpento-" he started to yell, but James had years of Quidditch behind him and excellent reflexes from all of those practises and games. Snape had no such talent to help him avoid James's curse or cast something else to counter it.

"Expelliarmus," James shouted. Snape's wand soared from his hands to James's. It looked like James was about to curse Snape then and there, causing him some serious injury, but Remus grabbed James's arm.

"Don't do it, James," he hissed. James tried to call himself down, but Snape was just so aggravating. Remus was the level headed friend everyone needed and James knew he was right, like he always was. He managed to calm himself down enough to do the mature, responsible thing in a situation like this. Was he Head Boy or not?

"Fifteen points from Slytherin for use of foul language and shows of disrespect," James said coldly. "Get out of my sight, Snivellus, before I make it more." He added an extra glower at Snape before the Slytherin stalked off.

"Good job, James," Remus whispered in his ear, him and Peter releasing Sirius. James nodded in thanks, yet remained quiet. It took all of his self control and more to not jump on Snape and rip out his throat, bare handed.

"Let's go guys, this place gives me the creeps," Peter suggested. The rest of the walk to the library was silent, but not uncomfortable. No doubt each Marauder was quietly planning their revenge on Snape for all of the foul things the boy had done in his life.

---

Lily decided to leave as soon as possible. A few hours after the funeral, both she and Marlene were packing. They had not gone to the after service, held in a small, select inn where people could have refreshments and talk about the much missed Evans family. Lily had seen Petunia, lips pursed in an angry, thin line, leaving with a whale like man in a crisp, black suit. Lily and Marlene assumed this must be Vernon Dursley.

A door slammed somewhere near the front of the house. Petunia must have come back. Lily and Marlene were nearly finished packing and had hoped to go before Petunia came home. Lily could feel a confrontation brewing up, though she hadn't even seen her sister yet. She hoped to Merlin that she was wrong. However, there was no such luck. The door to Lily's room was shoved open violently and in came a fuming Petunia, who started yelling immediately, her horse like face screwed up in anger.

"YOU-YOU LITTLE FREAK! AND THAT ABNORMAL THING NEXT TO YOU! HOW DARE YOU RUIN THIS DAY? YOU ALREADY RUINED MUM AND DAD'S VERY EXISTENCE, BUT THAT'S NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU, IS IT? YOU HAD TO RUIN THEIR FUNERAL TOO!" Petunia shrieked at Lily. Lily cowered backwards slightly; Petunia had an insane look in her eye, one Lily had only seen in Bellatrix Black a few years earlier. Bellatrix, who had been a few years older at the time, was taunting her and about to curse her before Professor Dumbledore came to her rescue.

"Leave Lily alone!" yelled back Marlene. Obviously, she wasn't afraid of Petunia. But as Lily's older sister rounded on Marlene, Lily felt fear again. Marlene had never faced Petunia like Lily had and she could safely say that those times were experiences she could well deal without.

"DON'T YOU TALK TO ME, YOU- YOU- YOU WITCH! TOYING WITH THE AUDIENCE LIKE THAT IN THAT HORRENDOUS SPEECH YOU MADE! YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO GO UP THERE AND TALK. HOW DARE YOU CONSIDER MY PARENTS A SECOND FAMILY? AND LILY! LILY IS NOTHING LIKE MUM AND DAD. THEY WERE KIND, CARING PEOPLE FULL OF LOVE AND WARMTH, WHERE LILY IS JUST AN ABNORMAL FREAK THAT SHOULD BE DEAD. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN HER INSTEAD OF MUM AND DAD IN THOSE COFFINS! THEY DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE, BUT SHE DOES!" Petunia yelled in her shrill voice, her harsh words hurting Lily much more then even Petunia realised. Marlene, however, was not about to let Petunia create even more pain for Lily.

"Listen here, Petunia," Marlene began, spitting out the name like it was a piece of dirt. "Lily is a beautiful person, inside and out. You don't deserve her as a sister. It is in no way her fault that your parents are dead. Don't you dare threaten Lily like that again. She's not a 'little freak', like you put it. Your parents were more proud of Lily than they could ever be of a horse faced, ugly, anorexic, bimbo like you." Marlene's voice, after the first sentence had turned dangerously low and ice cold. Even Petunia was backing away slightly. Marlene looked Petunia straight in the eye before grabbing her wand and sticking it out, calling for the Knight Bus. Petunia's eyes widened at the thin wooden stick and she made as if to run away. Marlene then proceeded to point the wand straight between Petunia's eyes.

"Mar…" Lily said tentatively.

"I'll do it. Give me a reason not to," Marlene spoke in a silky, frozen tone that made Lily shiver. Petunia made a strange noise. BANG! The Knight Bus had arrived. "Get out of here, Petunia," ordered Marlene. Petunia bolted.

"Wow," Lily whispered in shock.

"Someone had to. Don't worry; I wouldn't have really cursed her. It's rather fun taunting her, though," Marlene replied lightly. Her whole demeanour had changed instantly. She was back to the Marlene Lily known, warm, caring and fun. Lily had only seen this other side of Marlene twice before and it really scared her every time. But this time that fear was over ridden by gratitude. Marlene was briskly zipping up her bags. With one last look backwards, Lily walked over to the Knight Bus.

"Leaving your home so soon?" asked the conductor merrily.

"No. This isn't my home; Hogwarts is," whispered Lily. Both girls settled them selves and prepared for another silent yet bumpy ride back to the castle of Hogwarts.

---

Thanks to the reviewers, we're getting more and more. Makes us v happy!

- Kris-tina4

- blueskywillow

- awesome islanders

- PadFootCc

- pickaclover

- Nyneve713

- Miss Not-Sane

- Professor Drusilla W. L. Silvers

- Buckbeak Girl

Thanks a heap to all of you; writing is great, but when you know readers are enjoying your writing, it's even better. Sorry if I missed anyone!

xxoo anniePADFOOT & FallenFlower


	5. IV: Dwell on Dreams

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Anything you do not recognise from the either the films or the books, belongs to the author of this FANFICTION.

Summary: [L/J 7th year] The wizarding world is a storm of lies, death and betrayal entwined with love. Struggling to do the right thing, they must learn the true value of what they're fighting for or else be lost in the thunder within.

Genre: Angst/Romance

Rating: PG-13

**The Thunder Within**

By **SaveOurSouls**

Chapter 4: 'Dwell on Dreams'

'It doesn't do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live,' spoken by Albus Dumbledore, PS/SS; The Mirror of Erised, page157

"Find anything yet?" Sirius asked him in a low voice, dropping a large stack of books down on one of the many tables in the library. The noise echoed dully, and people surrounding them looked up thoroughly annoyed at being disturbed by people who didn't take advantage of the library that often. That's what they were prone to think, anyway.

"No, 'fraid not," James replied, closing the book he had been browsing through shut. Sirius sighed in frustration and looked around, searching for the other two members of their group who had seemingly disappeared.

"Where's Moony or Wormtail?" he said turning to face James again. James shrugged. No sooner had Sirius asked when the two missing reappeared behind him, Peter carrying a book like it was a very exquisite, very expensive, crown jewel.

"We found it, the spell, it's in here," Peter said proudly, his round face shining with delight. Sirius picked it up and flipped it open to the page that had a piece of parchment marking the place of the spell. The mischievous grin that James knew all too well returned to his face.

"Brilliant, Wormtail!" he said with a laugh, clapping him on the back. "You're not so thick after all!" He received a sharp elbow in the ribs from Remus. James smiled. Admittedly, planning a prank had taken his mind off Lily. Peter had been right; when she returned he could try and talk to her.

They spent the rest of the afternoon planning to perfection, when, where, who and how they were going to perform a prank that they hoped would lighten the whole mood of the school. It was only when Madam Pince ordered them out the library for breaking into loud bouts of laughter, did they return to the Gryffindor common room.

---

Lily woke up feeling less then cheerful and had a huge urge to turn over and go back to sleep again, though she doubted she could even if she wanted to. She sat up slowly and looked around the sun lit dormitory. Everyone else, including Marlene, appeared to be sleeping. When they had arrived back at Hogwarts it was raining heavily, the beginnings of a storm brewing. The wind had picked up a fair bit and had been swirling around the grounds in violent gusts and Lily wanted nothing more then to be in her bed fast asleep, apparently she had got what she wanted though it still felt like she hadn't been asleep at all.

She slowly got to her feet, blood rushing back into her limbs and the uncomfortable feeling of pins and needles entering her toes. As silently as she could she moved across the dormitory and towards the Girls' bathrooms. She got up and dressed silently, her head spinning uncomfortably; she was in half a mind to go and visit Madam Pomfrey for a Pepper Up potion, though the other half stopped her from doing so. I just need to get some fresh air, she thought, her eyes travelling to the window, overlooking the grounds. The sun was rising slowly from the east, catching the dew left on the grass from the heavy rainfall the night before. It was a beautiful morning. Lily glanced at her watch and found it was barely past six, it was highly unlikely that anybody would be up and about at this time of day.

---

As she predicted there was nobody wondering the corridors of Hogwarts this early in the morning and she was half grateful for that, she didn't feel up to seeing anybody at that precise moment.

The sun touched her skin, its warmth spreading over her pleasurably. The air seemed to be refreshed after the previous night's violent weather and, with a few deep breaths Lily was feeling slightly better. The air surrounding Hogwarts seemed so much cleaner than even the small village which she had been in yesterday for the funerals. She walked towards the lake, the water gently lapping at the rocks, sparkling in the light. By the time she had reached the edge, the bottom of her robes were soaked. She didn't mind in the slightest, though; she was too busy relaxing in the peaceful atmosphere.

She sat down on a large rock near the edge, drawing her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them. The sounds of birds twittering madly from the forest reached her ears and she smiled weakly to her self, before it flickered and died. _Why does Petunia have to be such a burden? Or is it the other way round… am I the burden? I'm the one who doesn't belong anywhere. I consider Hogwarts my home now, in fact, I think I always have, but there are people who don't want me here. Mum and Dad, they'd have been horrified if I had told them… they would've taken me out of Hogwarts… I guess I'll never know, they're dead and there's nothing I can do to bring them back._

She felt tears well in her eyes as she remembered the events of the previous day, the day when her parents had been buried. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't rid herself of the mental image of their coffins being lowered into the ground. She wiped her eyes in vain, pushing her hair out of her eyes. She had told herself that she wouldn't cry anymore, but so far, it hadn't been working. Hopefully, this would be the last time.

---

James soared higher and higher in dizzying circles until he was more then a hundred feet above the Hogwarts grounds. It was a fine morning for flying on his top of the range broomstick, the Nimbus 1500, and as it had been one of the few decent mornings the weather had brought so far, he wasn't about to let a morning such as this be wasted. He did a few loops to let out his feelings and went into a dive; it was the biggest adrenaline rush seeing the ground speeding towards you and then missing it by inches. He loved flying; it was one of his few real passions, putting his broom through its paces, testing it to its limits.

He headed for the ground, checking his watch on the way down. After flying so early in the morning, he normally showered before either going to classes or into Hogsmeade. His friends couldn't understand his enthusiasm for getting up early and left him to it. He didn't mind being alone for a few hours, it gave him a chance to think about things that perhaps other students thought he wasn't capable of feeling or thinking for that matter. In truth he could be deep sometimes, though he preferred taking things light heartedly, he found it made things- news, easier to cope with.

He looked over towards the lake and was startled to see a lone figure sitting on the rock huddled, as if trying to become as inconspicuous as possible. He jerked his broom in their direction interested to see who, apart from him, had dragged themselves out of bed at this time in the morning. His heart skipped a bit and he swallowed, feeling his throat go instantly dry… but… she wasn't meant to be back here for days. That's what Dumbledore told him, anyway.

He headed for the ground and landed effortlessly. He had half a mind to leave her to herself, though the nagging part of his brain was telling him not to ignore her and go and talk to her… He was going to have to at some point and it may as well be when nobody else was around to stare and pry. He had been completely unaware that he was already walking in her direction even as he had been thinking about it.

James approached her cautiously; he had been on the receiving end of her temper more than once and had always tried to stop himself putting a foot in it after it. Though, he had failed miserably, he couldn't help showing off the minute he got near her.

"Lily?" he said feeling his voice wobble slightly.

---

Lily turned her head to see who had spoken; her eyes found James Potter, broomstick in hand, meters from where she sat. Trust him to come and pry, she thought bitterly, turning away back towards the lake.

"Lily? Are you okay?" he asked her again. Lily laughed mercilessly, the usually musical sound holding nothing but emptiness. It was a flat, haunting laugh that was enough for anyone to turn and walk far away from her. Of course, the question was a stupid one for him to ask as it was quite obvious she was anything but okay. But Lily didn't really expect any more from James Potter.

"Fine, just fine," she said wiping away the tears blurring her vision. She felt him sit down on the rock next to her, placing his broomstick on his right side.

"I-I… didn't, expect to see you back… so soon," he said struggling to commit his voice to the words flowing out of his mouth.

"I didn't expect to be back so soon," she said quietly, even surprising her self.

"Oh, um, didn't things go to plan?" James said awkwardly, knowing the subject was probably a sore spot for her.

"Not exactly. My sister, Petunia- the one you saw in the Pensive… she-she doesn't like me," Lily swallowed, the familiar feeling of tears building up in her eyes, "She hates me in fact. I-she blames me for everything, then- then at the f-f-funeral, she didn't mention me at all… if it wasn't for Mar, then I doubt anyone would've known mum and dad had had me. Petunia went ballistic when she arrived home, she started screeching at me and then at Mar for standing up for me… she said the most…terrible things. She wishes I was dead." Why she was relieving all of this to Potter she hadn't a clue, but she needed to say it out loud, she couldn't keep what had happened bottled up, she supposed it was just convenience that he had appeared.

---

James sat in a stunned silence. He couldn't believe how anyone could do something so horrible to such a beautiful, kind, and caring person.

"Don't take any notice of what your sister said Lily, it doesn't seem like she knows you at all," James said hoping and praying he had said the right thing to her.

"And I suppose you know me?" Lily said with a weak smile. Usually, that question would have been asked snappishly, but at the moment Lily had no energy to waste. James returned the smile. That question was what Lily would have said before all of this had happened to her. He was glad she hadn't lost her wit; she wouldn't be the same without it.

"As well as you've ever allowed me to know you. Though, you'd be surprised at half the things I know about… people," James said, realising his mistake and correcting it. If he had said that she would have been surprised at the things he knew about her, it would have given the impression that he was a stalker, but people was a nice save. "And, if you'd let me, I'd like to get to know you a lot better."

He saw Lily debating with herself, her eyes wandering about his face pensively. "Maybe I will sometime, James," she said absentmindedly, turning back to the lake. James felt a grin fighting its way to his face. That was the most pleasant thing she had said to him in a long time, if not ever.

James looked at his watch, which read quarter past seven, if he was going to get a shower before everyone started getting up, he needed to leave now.

"Are you going to come back to Gryffindor Tower?" he asked, watching her carefully.

"I guess, Marlene will be wondering where I am," she said standing up. James too got up and together they walked back up towards the warm confines of the castle.

---

It must have looked odd to anyone looking out of a window up at the castle, to see two people, who were known for their fights, walking quite peacefully up to the castle in each others company. Lily was unaware of this factor. She found she cared less about what people thought about her. They had seen her receive news of her parents' deaths and go through the stages of mourning; she hadn't cared in that instance and she as certain as hell didn't care now. For some bizarre reason that was the second time she had found solace in James Potter, not a comfort as in how Marlene was there for her, but a comfort with no certain definition. It wasn't as if they were even friends.

The walk back to Gryffindor tower was mainly silent, Lily was deep in thought once more, and she had a feeling that James didn't want to disturb her in such a pensive state. James mumbled the password to the Fat Lady and they entered the common room. At that time in the morning there still weren't many people around, although a few were sat around finishing off homework due in later in the day.

Lily shook her self out of her state and turned to James as they came to the foot of their respective staircases.

"Thank you for…you know, listening to me, not many people would…" she said quietly so that the people in the common room didn't overhear. The last thing she wanted at the moment was people going around spreading rumours about her and James Potter. He grinned.

"It's okay. I believe it was me who approached you, not the other way round," he said with a shrug. Lily gave him another weak smile; it was all she could muster at that particular moment she still seemed to be fighting an internal battle with herself. She walked up the spiral staircase and entered the girls' dormitory. Marlene was there up and dressed obviously awaiting her arrival.

"Where have you been?" she said her voice filled with concern.

"Outside," Lily replied, taking off her winter cloak and sitting on the end of Marlene's bed. Looking around she saw that everybody else still appeared to be asleep. She shared her dormitory with three other girls; all of which she was on friendly terms with, though no one could compare with Marlene, they were the best of friends and she doubted anything would change that. Marlene looked at her incredulously.

"At this time in the morning?" she said sounding mildly impressed. Lily nodded, feeling a small smile appear on her face.

"Um, I woke up early and I needed to get some fresh air, my head was pounding," she said truthfully. Marlene's face creased in to a frown and Lily could tell she was scrutinising whether or not she was all right. She relaxed and smiled, before asking in a low whisper,

"When are you going to start coming back to classes? I'm not trying to push you into anything, and I certainly don't think you ought to go today, I was just wondering when you thought you'd feel ready…" Marlene trailed off.

"Not just yet, maybe- maybe in a few more days at the very least. I still need to sort a few things out in my head," Lily replied. Marlene nodded supportively and began to gather her school books together that she would need for today's lessons, stuffing them hastily into her bag.

"Are you coming down to breakfast?" she said straightening her self out. Lily shook her head; she wasn't ready to face a load of people giving her sympathetic stares, either that or taunting her about her parents deaths, smirking as they did so. "Okay then, I'll guess I'll see you at break and lunch. Take care of your self Lily," she said, hugging her tightly, "and don't dwell on it, it will just make you feel worse," she whispered, before leaving Lily to herself.

Not soon after Marlene left, the other girls in the dormitory rose. She had drawn her hangings around her bed to ensure her privacy and then lay back, staring at the velvet hangings above her as if they were the answer to her problems, which they definitely didn't.

---

James, heartened by the fact Lily hadn't been repulsed by his presence, had showered and got dressed quickly, making slightly more noise then usual and waking up the inhabitants of his dormitory. The only one who had been awake at the time of his entry was Remus, who had grinned at him knowingly before disappearing into the Boys' bathrooms. James had the feeling that he had seen himself and Lily walking back to Hogwarts.

Half an hour later and the whole dormitory were up, packing their bags for the days lessons. James hung back and waited for Sirius as Peter and Remus departed to breakfast with Davey Gudgeon, the final member of the dormitory.

"Is there a reason why you came in late from flying your broomstick, or shall I just dismiss it as nothing?" Sirius asked swinging his bag over his shoulder and looking at James with the well known grin on his face. James felt his jaw drop slightly; he should have known better then to trust the "sleeping form" of his friends. Sirius's grin got wider. James relaxed.

"There was actually, though I know you already know, so there's absolutely no point in me saying, is there?"

"No there isn't. I have to say though Prongs you finally, for once, didn't look like you put your foot in it. You didn't, did you?" he added raising an eyebrow condescendingly. James grinned. Sirius may have been watching him and Lily, but he didn't know what they had talked about.

"No I didn't… for once I didn't and she thanked me! Padfoot she thanked me!" he said eyes bright with merriment. Sirius laughed good-naturedly and clapped him on the back.

"'Bout bloody time Prongs, took you long enough. Just don't push it too far too soon, let her come to you next time, she is after all still recovering from her parents," he advised wisely. James nodded in agreement. He hadn't been planning to do anything more for a while. He didn't want to push his luck too soon and he was very much aware of her problems.

James scanned the Great Hall as soon as they entered looking for any wisps of red hair that may belong to Lily herself; he spotted Marlene McKinnon sitting with some of the other seventh year Gryffindor girls, talking to them quietly. By pure chance Remus and Peter had seated themselves not a few places from her.

James sat down and looked over the piles of toast, assortments of butter and hot full English breakfasts that the Hogwarts students could eat. Today, he wasn't feeling particularly hungry for some reason, which was quite surprising, as normally after getting up so early he was famished. He took up a piece of toast and buttered it lightly.

He looked up and found he had a clear view of the Slytherin table. They sat in suspicious clumps, talking hurriedly to one another, the occasional snigger and smirk thrown in for good measure. However, this was normal behaviour, James was well aware that the teachers' happened to be keeping an extremely close eye on the offending table, even if it appeared they were having their own discussions.

Remus attracted his attention my giving a fake cough, "So then, James. Gorgeous morning isn't it?" he said his eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Very," James replied biting into his toast.

"I bet the _ground_s, looked very… _beautiful_," he said suppressing a snigger.

"Yes, they did," James replied playing along to his friend's antics, not normal Remus behaviour, though it was getting to the first fourteen days after the full moon, when he experienced a change of mood daily. "Now, if you've finished, Moony, we have a prank to complete," he said leaning over so he wasn't overheard by anyone else.

---

Lily, after making sure that everyone was in their lessons, had ventured down to the uninhabited common room with a book that she had long forgotten she had. The edges were curling, the creases in the spine and discordant colours all pointing towards the fact that it had been read over and over again. She had first read it at the tender age of nine, the Christmas before her birthday in the summer. It had been a gift from her parents, who weren't the richest parents in the world, though tried to provide comfort for both of their children.

She had read and read, not putting it down for the slightest break. At the dinner table she had hidden it on her lap, it was only when her mother had asked her what she was staring at did she reveal the fact she was deeply wrapped up in the book and its contents. True, it was a fairly large novel for a child of her age to read, but she had understood each word perfectly, a little odd, her parents admitted that, though they had only thought they had a wonderful child with a higher then average intelligence. How very wrong they were.

Lily sat there for what seemed hours, reading the book that she had long forgotten about, a book that had remained in her trunk since first year, but had never been read since. The book in question was The Lord of The Rings by J.R.R Tolkein, perhaps considered by many as one of the greatest fantasy writers of all time in the Muggle world. The rich descriptions he offered fascinated Lily to no end, it was one of the most captivating things she had read in her life.

She looked up from her position by the window as the portrait hole opened and five people entered the common room deep in what seemed to be an argument about… her.

---

Sorry it's been a while since the last update. We're both busily writing future chapters at the moment & I kind of forget to upload new ones here.

This story can also be found at FictionAlley too, under TheDarkArts category.

Oh yeah, we don't own The Lord of the Rings... wish I did though; I'd be a BILLIONAIRE!

Don't forget to review & thanks to everyone that already has!

xxoo anniePADFOOT


	6. V: Young, Carefree & Innocent

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Anything you do not recognise from the either the films or the books, belongs to the author of this FANFICTION. **The Lord of the Rings piece is from The Fellowship of the Ring: Book 2, Chapter 5, The Bridge of Khazad-d********m, Page 315.** We do **not **own this, we have no intention of making any money out of this FANFICTION and you really should buy the book to read the rest of it, if you haven't read it already. No breech of copyright is intended, so don't sue us!

Summary: L/J 7th year The wizarding world is a storm of lies, death and betrayal entwined with love. Struggling to do the right thing, they must learn the true value of what they're fighting for or else be lost in the thunder within.

Genre: Angst/Romance

Rating: PG-13

**The Thunder Within**

**By SaveOurSouls**

Chapter 5: 'Young, Carefree & Innocent'

'In our first year, we were young, carefree and innocent-' spoken by George Weasley, PoA; The Marauder's Map, page 143

James yawned as they listened to their Potions master, Professor Septia, lecture them on the precise quantities they must use for the stronger, more devastating version of the Shrinking potion and the effects it may have on someone who accidentally drank even the tiniest speck.

"If the drinker happens to consume the tinniest droplet they could shrink so they were that small they would never be found again, though I can only hope it happens to someone… who deserves it," he finished nastily. His slit like eyes narrowed as they landed on James, who was looking extremely bored by the proceedings of their first lesson.

"Potter!" he snapped, jerking James out of his thoughts. "If you added two droplets of the regular shrinking potion to an item, what, roughly, is the size the object would be reduced to?" he asked, a smirk curling at the edges of his thin mouth as he watched James's blank expression with glee. "Maybe, instead of frolicking around with Evans so early in the morning, you should be asleep like the rest of us and then maybe, like the rest of us, it would come as a reflex answer instead of taking minutes for you to work it out." His unpleasant tone was sarcastic, and he didn't seem to care that he was revealing what one of his pupils did in their spare time, in front of the whole class. Everybody was staring at him, some with smirks on their faces, others just to see how he'd react to what their Potions teacher had just told them.

James flushed, he didn't care about getting told off, that happened routinely, but he didn't like it when people- Slytherins- pried into his own business. He had half a mind to take a casual stroll out of class, but decided against it and showed no more emotion instead stared at Septia coldly until he looked away and continued with the day's lesson. Inside he was shaking with anger. So what had Septia been doing up and about at that time? He wondered, only to find a piece of screwed up parchment on his desk, he looked over at Sirius, who nodded, gesturing him to read it.

_Prongs,_

_Don't worry people'll get over it. Anyway, they all know you fancy Lily… it just sounds a bit… wrong, if you catch my drift. 'Frolicking around with Evans so early in the morning' I'm going to have to use that line sometime. But what is Septia on? Does he get a kick out of watching students in their own personal time? Actually forget I wrote that, I'd rather not know. _

_Padfoot_

James grinned and looked up. Septia was staring at him with immense dislike and wasted no time in saying, "Potter, is there something you'd like to share with the class? Or are you going to tell me what you find so amusing?"

"No… Professor. I wasn't aware a smile was against classroom regulations, but if you prefer me not to, I won't," he said politely. Septia nodded, his lip curling.

"See me after class, Potter," he said crisply. James, pleased that he had got a little of his revenge on Septia, went back to his work in silence, until the double lesson was finally over.

However, he was not exactly over the moon that he received a detention for the next day, after class when Septia had asked to see him. It seemed worse for him because the detention involved pickling things that were disgusting in their original state and even worse seeing that they had been dried out.

He left the Potions classroom and met up with Sirius, Remus and Peter who had all waited for him.

"He is such a w-" James fumed as he walked towards them, swinging his bag over his shoulder, he was cut short when someone shouted him,

"Hey, James! Potter!" The group turned to see Marlene McKinnon hurrying towards him, her spiralling dull blonde curls falling into her eyes. She slowed down as reached them, nodded to the other three, and turned to him.

"I need to talk to you," she said in an intimidating voice. James, in no mood for conversing with anyone other then his friends, was quick to realise what she wanted to talk to him about. It was plainly obvious. She was Lily's best friend after all, and he knew she had her best interests at heart.

"Look Marlene, if this is about what Septia said in class then-"

"Partly," she said dryly. "Look, I don't know what happened this morning; to be honest I couldn't give a toss, what concerns me is you. If I find any evidence that suggests you are treating this as some kind of game, I will rip you apart Potter. And don't you dare use what Lily is going through at the moment as an opportunity to get what you want, you leave her well alone," she said narrowing her eyes and scrutinising him.

"Wow…wow, where did that all come from?" James said astounded at her fierceness and the content of what she had spoken.

"Believe me, I wouldn't have said it if I didn't have a good enough reason too," Marlene said grimily, starting to walk away from them. James followed her, now intrigued at what had caused such a reaction, and to defend himself.

"Wait. Why would I use what Lily is going through at the moment to get what I wanted?" he asked, puzzled. Marlene turned to him, her wand on his chest stopping him from moving any further.

"Because, people like you like to manipulate people who are in certain… situations," Marlene said prodding him with her wand.

"Now, that's unfounded," Sirius said incredulously, looking between the two. "James would never take advantage of a person like that Marlene, and you know it!"

Marlene remained tight lipped and continued to walk away.

"Wait! Marlene!" James half shouted, trying to comprehend exactly what she was getting at.

He followed her to the portrait of the Fat Lady and stopped her as she was about enter. "What exactly are you trying to say, Marlene? That I'd hurt her on purpose or something-"

"That's exactly what I'm trying to say James!" she said keeping her voice level and staring at him. If he hadn't been astounded before, he didn't know what he was feeling now, there were no words to describe the amount of surprise and astonishment he was in.

"Marlene, I can assure you, James would never, ever, try and hurt Lily deliberately or otherwise," Remus said calmly looking at the scene wearily.

"That remains to be seen," Marlene said resolutely, muttering the password.

"Why would I want to hurt her?" James said furiously. He couldn't believe that accusations, untenable insinuations were being hurled at him by a person he had known for so long.

---

"I don't know Potter, you tell me," Marlene snapped angrily, losing her cool demeanour. Lily was startled, she knew Marlene knew James Potter very well, their families were very close to each other, and it was rare that they ever had an argument. But an argument about her… _There must be something seriously wrong,_ Lily thought, though remained silent, trying to block out the distraction and return to her book.

'_They are coming!' cried Legolas._

_'We cannot get out,' said Gimli._

_' Trapped__! ' cried Gandalf. ' Why did I delay? Here we are, caught, just as they were before. But I was not here then. We shall see what—'_

**_Doom, doom_**_ came the drumbeat and the walls shook_.

"I don't know how you can say that, Marlene I would never-"

_'Slam the doors and wedge them!' shouted Aragorn. ' And keep your packs on as long as you can; we may get a chance to cut our way out yet.'_

_'No! ' said Gandalf. 'We must not get shut in. Keep the east door ajar! We will go that way, if we get the chance.'_

"LOOK, I am not about to let my best friend get hurt by you of all people. She wouldn't be able to cope with that on top of everything else that has happened to her in the past few weeks, do you understand that Potter?"

_Another harsh horn-call and shrill cries rang out. Feet were coming down the corridor. There was a ring and clatter as the Company drew their swords. Glamdring shone with a pale light, and Sting glinted at the edges_.

"Yes… But I'm not about to hurt her Marlene! I would NEVER hurt Lily-"

Lily had finally heard enough.

"If… if you've all finished now…" she said, standing up slowly, her eyes darting from a flushed Marlene, to a fuming James Potter. In the background she was vaguely aware of the fact Sirius, Remus and Peter were all staring wide-eyed at the scene unfolding. Lily suddenly came over with the huge desire to laugh. If it had been on television, in a soap opera, it would have had her in fits of laughter. However it wasn't, this was real.

"Marlene, I appreciate you looking after my best interests, I really do… but… I don't think you need to make my decisions for me just yet, I am still perfectly sane," she paused for a second allowing breathing time before continuing. "I think… I think I'm making the right decision… concerning … um," she trailed off her eyes sliding over to James. She glanced at her watch. "I think you're due in Herbology now, and I have a book to read," she said waving them away. They turned silently and started walking away. Marlene turned round and smiled slightly as if she had just achieved something. Lily dismissed it and started to read again, in the now silent common room.

---

"I still can't believe that just happened," Sirius muttered to James half an hour later whilst they were collecting Bubotuber pus, using their dragon hide gloves as protection for their hands.

"You can't believe it? What about me?" James murmured. "I still can't believe Marlene kept accusing me of things I'd never do… not in a million years, not to Lily. Does she think I don't understand what Lily's going through?" he continued, squeezing a pulsating pod with venom so it squirted out and landed on the Green house window.

"Careful there Potter!" Professor Sprout said ducking sprightly to avoid getting hit. "Only a gentle squeeze will do it. Honestly! Students just think they can squeeze it like it some common spot on their faces!" She sighed and shook her head as she moved away on to Remus and Peter who were paired together.

"By the sounds of it, I think she was just looking out for her best friend. You should have seen your and Marlene's faces when Lily announced her presence. You two looked like you were about to murder each other on the spot, either that or sink into the ground out of sheer embarrassment," he said laughing.

"Yeah, well, even if you found it funny, I certainly didn't," James grumbled.

"Why? Lily basically said that what she thought she was doing the right thing when it came down to you!" Sirius exclaimed. James shrugged, his eyebrows furrowed into a frown.

"I know. She didn't say what the right thing was though, did she? For all I know her decision was not to get involved with me!" he said glumly, carefully bringing a vile up to the Bubotuber pod that was now oozing with pus. Sirius shook his head in disbelief and turned away with his full vile, muttering incoherently to himself.

"Ah, excellent Mr Black, excellent!" Professor Sprout hailed him as he took the full vile to her. "Now, I think it's best if you go and wash up. In fact… yes. Can I have your ATTENTION, please?" she yelled above the hub of the Green house. "When your vial is full, bring it to me, and go back up to the castle to clean up. You all look a right state!" she announced. The noise grew again as students endeavoured to fill the rest of their vile and get out of class early.

Tiered and grumpy, James finally finished and began to trudge back to the castle in the company of Remus. Sirius, having finished first, had gone off with Peter to clean up; Peter also finishing surprisingly fast.

"I am so stupid!" James said clapping a hand to his forehead. "So, so stupid. How could I ever, ever think that Lily would actually go out with me?"

"James, Prongs, not to be a pain, but where has all the negativity come from?" Remus quizzed flicking some dirt of his robes. James threw his hands up in the air, as if calling to God.

"I don't know! Maybe it's because I know deep down… I'll never get what I want when it comes down to her…" he said trailing off haplessly. Remus grabbed him roughly by the shoulders and stopped him in his tracks.

"Now you listen to me Prongs," he growled in a wolf like manor. "Padfoot, Wormtail, Gudgeon, and I have not put up with your constant moans and complaints since fifth year for you to just… give up, the moment something like this happens. Why give up now? Besides, I thought you loved her…" his tone was sharp, angry, but it had the response he had hoped for.

"I do!" James said, frustrated. He threw Remus's hands off him. "I just… It seemed like the last straw Moony! I've been rejected by her so many times over the last two years… and finally, finally something unpredicted happens to her, and she… I-I could comfort her without getting slapped or shouted at… and then Marlene goes and starts having a go at me insinuating things I'd never do! Why would I treat this as a game? And she heard… Moony she heard. I wouldn't dream of saying any of that to her face. I'd have messed it up like the moron I am! I always mess everything up…" he murmured, half rambling.

"Pull yourself together, Prongs! You are not the only one who has problems in this world… No one is perfect and Lily- I know Lily, James, and she wouldn't let the fact a person messed up what they said affect what she thought- thinks about them, as long as she knows they mean what they say, nothing else matters!" Remus said, equally frustrated at James and his lack of enthusiasm. "Anyway, don't we have a prank to set in motion?" he said smiling.

James looked at him, and fought the grin that was braking onto his face; needless to say he failed miserably. "Yeah, yeah we do…"

---

Lily paced the common room, restlessly her mind buzzing with what had just happened. Marlene had been right… she wouldn't be able to cope if anything else happened to her so soon after her parents' deaths; merely thinking about it brought up the standard lump in her throat. The chilling memory of the coffins being lowered in to the ground making her shiver involuntarily; she couldn't get it out of her head, no matter how hard she tried to distract herself.

She flopped down in an armchair in front of the empty fire and sat deep in thought trying to think of other, happier things that would perhaps coax her out of her depressive state. There were none. None that had any significant impact anyway. She tried to hold back a yawn but was unsuccessful. What followed was a great tiredness, spreading over her worn out limbs and aching joints. She let herself close her eyes and listen to the deafening silence. Not long after that and she was in a land of dreams featuring fruit trees with pictures of her parents on, no matter how hard she tried to pick them from the tree, she couldn't reach. Either that or the trees were growing rapidly.

---

The prank they had planned to the utter most perfection was to take place that evening, outside in the grounds to ensure other pupils' safety. It wasn't dangerous as such; it was just a precaution to make sure. Plus the fact it wouldn't have looked half as good in the Great Hall with all the burning candles, lighting what the students were doing.

James watched as a small shadow, Peter, ran down the front steps as fast as his short legs would allow him to, he reached them just in time and looked back across the dark grounds.

"Are they coming?" Sirius said eagerly. Peter nodded breathlessly.

"Yes. Yes they are. I told them that-"

"It doesn't matter, tell us later and help me start this firework," Sirius grunted. Peter clamped his mouth shut and helped Sirius shift the modified Dr Filibuster no-heat, wet-start firework into a more suitable position. Sirius licked his index finger and rubbed it against his thumb in preparation to light the stiff string sticking out from the bottom of it. James grinned as the first students started pouring out of the entrance hall and down the steps looking around and talking energetically as they left the light from the entrance hall that was spilling down over the steps.

"Five…" James muttered, licking his own fingers and pinching the end of the firework next to him. The fireworks themselves were huge in comparison to the usual ones- however they were needed for the alterations they had made over the last few days. The students were buzzing looking around the grounds impatiently.

"Four…" Remus murmured next to him, shifting his feet slightly.

"Three…" Peter said in a tone that clearly said he would rather be watching them, than setting off his own firework.

"Two…" Sirius said, the grin on his face quite evident in the half gloom of the dark that surrounded them.

"One…" James said removing his finger, and watching with glee as the fireworks rocketed off high above the grounds.

Suddenly all four enormous rockets exploded, causing several of the shadows to shriek with surprise. They emitted different fireworks, Catherine wheels, normal rockets, sparklers that spelled out rude words such as 'Tosser' and 'Slut'. After the flying formations of colour, the really good bit began. They started showering the fascinated students in sweets and candy. They laughed and cheered, grabbing their friends' arms and pointing at the various fireworks spinning away across the grounds, catching the sweets in their fists and whooping at the small dose of fun that had come after months of depressive misery. It was just what they needed after all that had happened in the short time that they had been back.

"Well, I think we can safely say that was one of our most brilliant, nicest pranks we've ever played on this school," Sirius said lightly, letting out a laugh that sounded like a dog barking.

It was without doubt the best 'feel good' prank they had played, James decided later as he lay back in his soft bed sheets staring at the velvet canvas, his hands behind his head. Though he doubted that McGonagall would agree with them in the morning; she had a sixth sense about these things and always managed to put them in some kind of detention for their actions, even if she didn't have a shred of evidence to prove it was them. Mind you, it took people with imaginations to devise a prank like that, and a great deal of intelligence to get to grips with a charm that not many people managed to master in their life times, James thought. He doubted that there was anyone who could have done that apart from them, the Marauders.

---

So sorry for the long wait. FallenFlower is kind of out of action at the moment, with a damaged wrist, so it's up to me. Which isn't good, because I'm lazy. But I'm trying, ok!

Thanks to all of you who review!

xo aPADFOOT & FallenFlower


	7. VI: Curiosity is Not a Sin

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Anything you do not recognise from the either the films or the books, belongs to the author of this FANFICTION.

Summary: L/J 7th year The wizarding world is a storm of lies, death & betrayal entwined with love. Struggling to do the right thing, they must learn the true value of what they're fighting for or else be lost in the thunder within

Genre: Angst/Romance

Rating: PG-13

**The Thunder Within**

**By** SaveOurSouls

Chapter 6: 'Curiosity is Not a Sin'

"Curiosity is not a sin.... But we should exercise caution with our curiosity... yes, indeed," spoken by Albus Dumbledore, GoF; The Pensieve

"Okay, everyone, quiet down now, would you?" James asked patiently. The mindless chatter amongst fifth, sixth and seventh year Prefects died down as James called for their attention. Frankly, Lily was slightly amazed that James was being so responsible.

Lily and James were about to start their first Prefect meeting together. It was a Saturday evening and they were situated in the Prefect's Common room; a large room, that James figured had bits of each house in it. He had noticed quite a few chairs from Gryffindor and he guessed that the snake plaque was from Slytherin- where else was it going to come from? James was seated comfortably on a red and gold striped armchair with Lily next to him in a similar one. The rest of the Prefects, all twenty-four of them, two from each house, fifth to seventh year, were seated in front of them on a long, circular sofa that arched around.

"Now, we just have a few things to discuss with you," Lily told them flatly. She was still tired; even though she started sleeping again, it was hard. She still wasn't comfortable with people all around her. She had been doing a pretty good job of staying away from everyone, but today meeting was breaking her pattern.

"This is our first meeting. Lily's been slightly… delayed… but not to worry; we're going to get right down to business. Firstly, Hogsmeade dates. Does anyone have anything to put forward about this before we decide?" James asked looking around the room. Remus shot him a subtle look and James tilted his head into a half, inconspicuous, nod. He had already figured this out and would be careful to make sure Hogsmeade weekends weren't on the full moon.

"We need to be aware of Quiddi-" began Bethany Smith, a seventh year and Seeker on the Ravenclaw team. But a laughing James cut her off in his amusement.

"Of course, Beth I am aware of that small matter, being a Quidditch Captain and all," he smiled at her. Remus knew there was something off about James's smile; if the others would actually look, they would too realise it was lacking something important. Heart. Bethany wasn't watching though and just grinned back. "Anything else?" James asked.

"Yeah- It probably shouldn't be on the first of November; too soon after Halloween," put in Charlotte Underwood, a Gryffindor fifth year. Her brother, Carl, was a seventh year Hufflepuff and also a Prefect.

"How about the eighth and ninth of October?" suggested Remus. James studied the parchment in his hands for a second; it was obvious some sort of complicated timetable, before nodding.

"Okay, that sounds good. Anyone have a problem with those dates?" No one raised a voice. "Great. Can you seventh years make sure the notices are up on your house message board?" There was a mutter of acceptance from the elder years, who were looking particularly bored with the proceedings- mind you; they had been doing it for around three years, so no-one really blamed them.

"The next matter is passwords. As you all know your passwords to the common rooms are set by the Heads of House. For this room, Lily or I will. We've settled on 'Phoenix Fire'. The Prefects' bathroom is on the fifth floor, fourth door to the left of the statue of Boris the Bewildered, the password is 'White Light'. Also, you all have the privilege of not only spending free time here, but using the study, which is just over there. It's an excellent place for some peaceful, quiet studying," James pointed out a door.

"Are we allowed to bring non-Prefect friends here?" asked Petronella Morgan, a Slytherin sixth year. Surprisingly, her voice didn't hold a malicious edge, like some other Slytherin Prefects held. It was just an innocent question. However, behind every innocent question from a Slytherin was an ulterior motive. And now was no exception to those times.

"Dumbledore said he'd rather you didn't, that's the aim for a Prefects Common Room: Prefects only. We'll change passwords every so often," James replied. "Now, patrolling schedule… anyone have anything to say before I start?"

"What do you mean, patrolling?" asked one of the new Prefects, a fifth year, somewhat fearfully. James smiled kindly at him.

"Don't worry; I'm just going to explain it now. If everyone is paired with someone of the same year, but a different house and gender. It's easiest if Gryffindor go with Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw with Slytherin. Lily and I will also be patrolling at various points during the schedule. For example, Remus here," James indicated to Remus, who grinned.

"Would go with Prudence," James motioned to Prudence Clement, a Hufflepuff, who also smiled. "Everyone clear? Good. You're not expected to patrol for more then an hour or two a week, I think that's fair on everybody." James handed out the stack of timetables next to him, as well as pinning one up on the wall just in case.

"I think that's all everything, isn't it?" Lily asked James, impressed at how he had handled everything. James nodded.

"See you all later," he told them as the Prefects slowly departed the room, talking to each other.

"Are you all right with all this?" James asked carefully, picking himself up from the comfortable chair.

"The meeting? Yeah, sure," Lily replied absentmindedly. Plainly, she'd rather be anywhere else than here. James sighed.

He hadn't meant the meeting at all. But he didn't want to push it.

"See you then," James smiled at her just before Lily left, leaving James alone in the room. For all its warmth and colour, he felt very cold and alone.

"Don't give up, Prongs," a voice said from behind him. Remus hadn't left after all. James smiled at his friend, somewhat sadly. Remus on the other hand grinned happily.

"Why the hell are you so happy?" James asked. Remus's grin only got wider. It was quite infuriating, really; James was in a mood of depression and here Remus was, standing and grinning happily.

"She was impressed and for a reason, I'll give you that," he replied. "You ran the meeting very well, James."

"Thanks mate," James whispered. "Let's get out of here." Both boys walked out and headed back to their own room.

---

Lily wasn't an idiot. She knew that James hadn't meant the meeting when he asked her if 'she was all right with all this?' She just wasn't ready to deal with him and playing ignorant seemed like a good option. Since he looked at her memory in the Pensive, Lily had felt a strange connection with him. It was quite unnerving really; connected with James? Him, of all people. Yet it couldn't be denied. She tried not to show her admiration at the meeting, but she admitted he handled it all very well. Lily had hardly said a word throughout the whole meeting, but James seemed to have realised that she was still in a right state.

She had decided to go back to classes the day after tomorrow, but couldn't work out whether she was ready to go back, or not. Going to the Prefects meeting was a small step to returning to normality, though she still had a long way to go.

She was confused by the way she couldn't bring herself to eat or go to sleep at night. She was confused as to why she had let James do all the work for the meeting and during it, it was very unlike her. Yet, the main thing she was concerned about was James himself. Yes, he was changing. It was crystal clear that he was no longer the bullying, arrogant git he had been in fifth year. He was mature, responsible and generally more pleasant. Even so, she always ended up with the same question running through her mind: did she have feelings for him? His personality, in Lily's opinion, had always messed up his good looks, which were without doubt, very appealing. Though since his personality was changing, maybe Lily did feel something?

"Night, Mar," she whispered. Her friend was already asleep. Lily was too tired to actually dwell on James at the moment; it was near midnight after Lily finished her stroll around the school, in hope of clearing her head. Needless to say, it hadn't worked. Lily's head hit the pillow and a second later she was asleep. Little did she know that the next morning upon waking up, she would forget all the lovely dreams she had. All the lovely dreams she had that featured James Potter.

---

James had waked up early and got out of bed hastily, eager to get down to breakfast and then out onto the Quidditch pitch for the first Quidditch practice of the season. Needless to say that his fellow team mates had planned on having a nice lay in on a Sunday morning, however, that was disrupted by the fact James had called a practice early on that morning.

The sky held nothing but ashen clouds being blown by a soft wind, not perfect weather, but it was better then nothing.

"Okay, people!" James yelled out commandingly. Six brooms swerved in the air and flew down towards him. "First Quidditch practice of the season!" Ailsa Clyde, his fellow chaser was the first to touch down. She was swiftly followed by Edward Fenner and Laurel Waters, the beaters, Cassandra Williams, the seeker, Norman Powell, the keeper and finally the other chaser, Oberon Isaacs.

"Come on James, we don't want an hour long speech!" Cassandra wailed. James grinned; his previous captain was known for making speeches longer than the actual games.

"Don't worry, Cass. Look, I really want to get out there and start some drills and things, but… We have a great team this year, full of very skilful people. So that means there is no excuse for not winning the Quidditch cup this year. Let's all work together and make it happen!" The rest of his team responded by once again soaring into the air, waiting expectantly. James grabbed the equipment, quickly throwing up the Quaffle to Oberon, who caught it deftly. Edward and Laurel had their bats ready, so James released one of the two Bludgers and finally, after warning Cass, let the Snitch fly. Then he raced up into the air and the practice had officially begun.

"Let's get this show on the road!" yelled Norman. It was like tradition now; every practice, Norman shouted the same words before flying off.

James paused from practising with his fellow Chasers to look at the rest of his team, checking that they were doing what they should be doing and perfecting any of the moves they had learnt last year but needed to brush up on for the coming season.

"Good, good," James praised, as he observed Cassandra execute her own special manoeuvre that trapped the Golden Snitch into flying next to her broom in easy reaching distance.

"I'm moving on, I've got that move down to a tee," she yelled. James looked onto the beaters. They performed a tricky little tactic that shot the Bludgers out, not to injure the nearest player, but spiral around their heads, temporarily blocking their view.

"Okay, I want you both to be able to do that eyes closed and one hand behind your backs," he told Laurel and Edward as they perfected one of their newer moves. Each put a hand behind their back and closed their eyes obediently, repeating the drill flawlessly.

"Good enough for you?" Edward yelled, ducking to avoid the Quaffle that had sailed over his head. James nodded in response and motioned for them to keep practising. He flew over towards Norman and watched him and his fellow Chaser's with a glowing pride as they first past the ball swiftly and then took a shot at goal.

"Focus and it will come naturally," he told Norman as he narrowly let the goal in by inches. James then took the initiative to get out there and help. Him, Ailsa and Oberon were nearly unstoppable; they were so in tune with each other they could almost read the others next move without a backward glance. James swerved, throwing the Quaffle backwards to Oberon, who caught it easily. He then ditched it across and out of no where Ailsa sailed out, catching it effortlessly. She span around to confuse the Keeper and scored. Norman blocked one-third of the goals headed his way, though it was hard to save more than that when working with the relentless trio. A few long hours later James blew his whistle and motioned for the team to get down, a sure sin that they were finally free to go.

"You're a slave driver, James," Oberon puffed out. All members were covered with dirt, water, mud and even some blood when an accident with the Bludgers occurred.

"Yeah, but that's how we win! Anyway, great practice guys, I've got a good feeling about this year. I'll see you all here on Wednesday night seven pm sharp," James told them before letting them go and get showered and changed.

James trudged back to the Gryffindor common room slowly, where he threw himself into a soft armchair and turned his head to his thoughts.

---

Lily came down the stairs to the Common Room, expecting it full. Yet, when she looked around, she realised the only other person there was James and even he looked deep in thought. Not wanting to disturb him, Lily tried to creep past quietly. She would have succeeded too, if it hadn't been for Sirius, who had just bound energetically through the portrait and spotted both Lily and James. Lily was planning to go to the Prefects' study and have a nice read before she returned to class the next day, to see if she could catch up on some of the classes she was taking for N.E.W.T level, but that prospect seemed pretty bleak right now.

"Lily, lovely to see you…. Prongs mate!" Sirius said loudly. Lily groaned silently. _Great_, she thought to herself. Even thought no-one knew exactly why, it was clear that Prongs was James. Moony was Remus, Padfoot was Sirius and Wormtail was Pete; Lily had always dismissed it as freakish Marauder nicknames. James turned around, ignoring his best friend and faced Lily. He smiled, but it looked horribly forced and fake. Lily didn't even try to smile back.

"James," she said softly. His eyes bore into hers, but he remained silent.

"Um… guys?" Sirius asked, annoyed at being ignored. He snapped his fingers. Clapped his hands. Still nothing. With a great sigh, he made his way up to the boy's dormitory dejectedly. Obviously, he was exaggerating his movements greatly.

But it did the trick; Lily and James were alone.

---

He was going to say something any second now. Lily could feel it, just like she could feel his gaze on her skin, even though she couldn't see it yet. Sure enough, he started talking.

"Does it always have to be like this?" James asked softly. Although he had barely started talking, Lily felt herself cracking slightly; James definitely had a way with words, even if it was just a few. His voice was soft and even, but held definite meaning. Lily refused to let her weakness show, though.

"Like what?" she replied, looking up from her hands that she had been fiddling with. She would have snapped Potter, but they were on first name basis, though his name had failed on her lips.

"Like this. You know," James answered. Four simple words; of course Lily knew what he was talking about. She just didn't want him to know that she knew that. "Don't…" James started, but Lily cut him off. Why did he have to do this to her, now? Why did he always know the exact moment?

"Don't what, James? Look, just tell me what you're on about," Lily demanded. He sighed slightly.

"Don't shut me out. I'm not your enemy anymore," he told her, a sad smile creeping on his handsome face.

"I'm not shutting you out!" Even as Lily said it, the words sounded fake to her ears. Of course she was shutting him out; couldn't he take the hint? Obviously not, because a second later James had moved closer to her, he didn't tower over her even though she was a few inches shorter then him, there again it meant they could virtually look each other in the eye, not a good thing when you were trying to block them out.

"I know you don't hate me anymore, Lily, brushing me off won't work. I thought we were friends… and friends let each other help," James whispered.

"I don't need your help! I never said we were friends!" Lily snapped, turning away to leave for the Prefects' study. However, James grabbed her arm before she could do so, forcing her to turn back to him.

"Yes, you do Lily, you need help," James said ignoring the latter comment on purpose. "You don't even realise how much of you is gone. You're destroying yourself from the inside; soon you'll just be a shell. You're falling behind in classes, you're always tired and you're constantly moody. You don't even bother yelling at misbehaving students anymore!" Unlike Lily, James kept his voice even, low and comforting, even though it lacked real feeling. It didn't hold accusations and wasn't meant to offend her.

She flinched as his words struck home. _Fuck you, James_, Lily's mind screamed. How did he always know everything at a glance? His hazel eyes bored into hers. Lily had once heard that eyes were the window to one's soul. If that was true, at the moment, James was soulless. They were completely blank, not showing anything. It was like a mask was over his face and a curtain in his eyes.

"Y-You're right," Lily admitted shakily, trembling. "I can't do this anymore," she whispered, giving in. Something like triumph crossed his face, but was gone as soon as it came. Instead, another sad smile was aimed at her again.

"No one is expecting you to, Lily," he replied calmly. He was right, of course; no one was expecting her to carry around everything on her shoulders. However, like this, she was occupied. She felt like she had a shield around her. A shield that stopped everyone from getting to her. Unfortunately, James had a means of penetrating it. With everything going on, Lily didn't have to think about Voldemort, her parents, the constant deaths or any other morbid affairs. Yet they crept in anyway and since James had just splintered her shield, they were oozing in freely.

"Damn you, Potter! Why do you always have to know everything! What I'm thinking, why I do something, how I act, what I'm feeling, for knowing just what to say to get me to react!" she yelled in frustration, close to tears. James smirked slightly. Lily continued at the sight of the famous Potter smirk, how she hated him for this.

"How can you stand there all calm and unemotional, smirking, whilst my life falls apart? How can you be so damned calm in any situation and let everything like this pass you by with a smirk plastered on your-your irresistible face?" Lily was suddenly embarrassed. _Did I really say that out loud?_ She wondered. Apparently yes, because James's smirk had dimmed and a frown of confusion had settled in its place. He looked as if he was struggling for a moment, an internal battle taking place. A second later, however, his arms were wrapped around Lily and drew her closer to himself. It was a warm hug, one that she had needed for a long time.

"Just let it go, Lily. Give in, like you gave into telling me all of that," he whispered. Lily sighed; give into what exactly? There were a number of things that she could give into; thinking about her parents, about Petunia. Falling asleep or eating again. Even going back to class sooner. Most of all, giving into James Potter. Lily did just that. Something made her do it. She wasn't sure what exactly, but some kind of force was making her lean into James.

Next thing she knew, Lily had her lips grazed against his own. The very air around them seemed to be buzzing. She knew if Marlene walked in at that moment she would kill James, but there was just something about him… _He tasted of peppermints_, she thought numbly. Maybe that was it.

---

End of chapter 6

I am extremely sorry for the overly long wait. To tell the truth, both FF & I, anniePADFOOT, have been extraordinarily busy and have… well, _forgotten_ about this. But I swear I'll post the next sooner than this.


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